Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Care To Prove You're Different?

I've always known I was different but in reality I am proof that God has a sense of humor. That is a bold statement but I can back it up with proof. If you look beyond my personality (which some might say is proof enough) and look at my physical side you will begin to see how true my statement is. First are my legs. I'm bowlegged and slew footed which together combines for a strange look.

Every time I had to do the sitting stretch during my time in the military I always had difficulty doing it in their prescribed manner. To do it you sit on the ground with your legs stretched out in front of you with your feet pointing up. Then you simply lean forward and try to touch your toes or go even further if possible depending on your level of fitness.

It always seemed as if I should be able to reach a lot further than I actually was. Then it occurred to me that if I allowed my legs to lay in their normal state, that is legs stretched out and toes pointing outward with my feet horizontal, I would be able to fully stretch myself out and reach past my feet. It does look very abnormal when I sit that way but it's how I'm comfortable so I go with it.

About eight years ago or so I was taking an Aikido class and found out that my elbows are weird as well. We were doing a drill in which you have wrist control on your opponent and take them to the ground face first. There with their arm twisted you put the back of their hand against your chest and lean forward thereby locking it in with your hands free to wreak havoc if need be.

My partner for the exercise did everything properly only to have me simply pull my arm out. Convinced he was doing something wrong he said let's do it again. After many repetitions which all ended in the same manner he gave up and called our instructor over. The Instructor watched us perform the drill once again and then stated "Oh, Don's just put together weird" which is such a wonderful thing to hear.

He showed us how if you make a fist and put it on your hip with your elbow pointing outward then you can feel where the point of your elbow is. For most people it is in the middle but for weird people like me it's somewhere different, in my case it's on the outside. That was what was allowing me to pull my arm out but once armed with the knowledge that someone can do that you merely have to rotate the arm a little more in order to lock it out.

But wait. there's more. I can pop my ankles while standing although I'm pretty sure that's not so good for you. I used to be able to stretch my right hand out and turn it back and forth rapidly and it would produce a clicking sound but that went away in the last year. Then there's my snapping scapula which doesn't hurt and....well I could go on with more tales of my weirdness but I guess that's enough for now. It's all just proof that I am one weird put together dude, not that it wasn't apparent at first glance.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

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