My wife is from Peru and as a result I try to find Spanish language movies for her to enjoy. I myself do not speak much of the Spanish language although it is something I plan on changing in the near future. So imagine my surprise when I find a movie that is not only written by a Peruvian, stars a Peruvian, was made in Peru and was nominated for an Oscar for best foreign film, that I excitedly tell her the premise and she says she doesn't like it (without watching the trailer) because it seems that the main character would be living such a horrible life. When she says things like this, without giving the movie at least even a casual glance it can really deflate me and make me wonder why I bother even trying. I mean, what is the point if whatever I spend time investigating in an attempt to make her happy, to show something of her country especially on a grand stage, is rejected so easily without much thought or interest?
But then as I think about it deeper (something I'm good at) I realize that the point is that I tried, whether she likes what I've done or even appreciates it should not be my goal. I love her with all of my heart and even after almost 5 years of marriage the fact is that there are things about each other we never will understand. There are things we do not know and are just starting to figure out. After all, we come from 2 different cultures, speak 2 different languages
and have had different things happen to us in our lives. Whenever something like this happens I need to get over my initial feelings of disappointment and remember that it's not about me. As long as we are growing and learning and loving we will be fine. We don't need to have everything in common or think the same way about everything. Our differences are what makes it so wonderful. It's what makes it so worthwhile. It's why we keep on fighting for this marriage because make no mistake, marriage will always have it's struggles and rough patches broken up by periods of tranquility. The trick is learning to make those tranquil peroids last longer each time.
By the way, much like my effort La Teta Asustada did not win the Oscar. It instead went to a movie from Argentina. But at least they can say it was there and had a chance which is a lot more than many other films can say. Congratulations to director Claudia Llosa and star Magaly Solier. I will certainly be looking for it on dvd and who knows, I may just slip it in the dvd player without my wife knowing what it is and tricking her into giving it a fair chance.
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