Time goes on

About 3 weeks ago I made a post about not even knowing if my marriage was going to make it. My wife had said some pretty horrible things to me and honestly I didn't even know if I wanted to keep on trying. What a difference a day makes. We talked the next day and she was going through a few things but explained that she didn't mean what she had said and indeed did love me and wanted us to stay together and works things out. Since then I've turned a corner of sorts and come out of the semi-depression I was in and feel much better about life in general and am even making plans for future events since clearly waiting for something good to happen just doesn't work. You have to put yourself in a position for good things to happen. Basically I mean you need to be working towards a clearly defined goal in order for positive things to happen for and to you. Sitting around dreaming while nice and time consuming just doesn't get it done. Unfortunately there won't be a knock at the door where the perfect thing you want in life will happen to and for you. You've got to get out there and make it happen and now I'm planning for it.

When I say i was depressed don't get the wrong idea. It wasn't clinical or anything like that. It's just that off and on I would get depressed about work, my marriage and personal things that I've not accomplished in life. The thing was I wasn't doing anything to realize my dreams, to make them reality. That's all about to change my friends. I feel something very different and am making my plans, putting it in writing with a realistic plan of action. It doesn't even matter if I fail as long as I put forth the effort and do my best. Okay it matters some, I won't lie. Anyway, this is the year I start learning again and get off my duff for better or worse and accomplish something. More on this later.

What's Going On?

It’s not easy hearing that you’re not good enough from the person that you love and that you presume loves you. As a matter of fact it’s a slap in the face, a stinging blow to your spirit, your pride and your belief in the world. When that comment is used in addition to other hurtful words the effect can be devastating. I heard those words and more tonight from my wife. She told me she made a mistake marrying me and that basically we can never be happy because I won’t change who I am and that everything wrong is my fault, other than her marrying me that is. What a way to start off the New Year.

It would be a lie if I said that during this very difficult year I hadn’t wondered if we would make it. I did think about that. That’s what I do, I think deeply about things and yeah sometimes I think too deeply. No, I did think about that from time to time and I even thought about what it would be like. My wife has the feeling that everything would be fine if we got a divorce, that everything would be perfect and we would be so much happier on our own. Except we wouldn’t be on our own. You see, we have a son. A beautiful, lively son with a lust for life who is two years and 8 months old. Common sense says that if we were to split now he would adapt quickly although he wouldn’t really understand why things changed. To him it would just be different and he’d adjust and move forward.

What I worry about though is how I would adapt especially if I couldn’t see him every day. I love this kid dearly and can’t bear the thought of not seeing him every single day and being with him and interacting with him. He just came up to me as I’m typing this so for now I need to stop and just be here with my son. Who knows how many more opportunities I’ll have like this?

Something, Something, Something Dark Side

Just thought I'd see if this works. Who knows since it's my first time trying to embed something. Anyway, I love The Family Guy and I love Star Wars so it stands to reason that I would like their take on it. I hope this works.

Been a long time.......

Well, I haven't done much posting at all for a myriad of reasons but it's high time I got back on the horse and started writing again. So with a (hopefully) renewed vigor here goes. Last night my friends band Rant played again at the Dragons Lair in Tulsa. What made it different this time was that there was a guy there doing a webcast of the show. Head on over to this link http://www.jukezoo.com/videos/id_394/title_Metal-Show-Dragon’s-Lair-11-21-09/ and you'll see what it was like. There were 3 bands and Rant played first and were on for over an hour. Skip ahead to about 12:20 and they start playing. The show was filled with technical difficulties (like a broken bass string if you can imagine) but they soldiered on and had fun. See if you can pick out the few cover songs that they did. The next band was screamo and nothing against them but it's just not my cup of tea. The music was good but I just can't handle those vocals. I didn't stick around for the 3rd band since I had to get up and teach Sunday School the next day but you can see for yourself what they were like. A word of warning, there is some adult language used by the singer/guitarist in his stage patter. Enjoy.

And now for Journey

Now here's some shots of Journey, I wasn't very close, the zoom on my camera is just really good! I went with my wife and met 4 people that I work with and then afterwards saw my best friends wife and daughter. His wife said Arnel is even better this year than he was last year since he's more confidant and sure of himself and this rock star stuff isn't brand new to him anymore either.

Journey and Night Ranger 8/5/09

Journey and opening act Night Ranger rocked the BOK Center last night in Tulsa. This marked the 3rd time I have seen Journey (and the 3rd singer I've seen them with to boot) and the 2nd time I've seen Night Ranger. It was a treat to hear Arnel Pineda singing and to watch the show he put on. He was a whirling dervish of energy throughout the night. Here's 5 shots from Night Ranger:

Why the long delay?

It's been a long time but I do have some good reasons for not posting. Of course I won't say right now what they are but perhaps later I'll be able to explain why I haven't been around. Too much drama and not enough time in my life is the easy way to get around it for now.

I'll be going to see Journey and Night Ranger next month and will have a concert review and if I'm lucky I'll also get to see Billy Squier the following night. I've skipped some shows that I really wanted to see but in the end I feel it's for the best. Since it's after 4AM I'm heading off to bed for now.