Jury Duty Is Over, Now Get Back To Work!

Now that my first ever jury duty is finished without actually being chosen to sit on a jury it’s time for my final reflections. Twice my name was called to be in the voir dire and twice my presence was not required. After the second time the judge excused those of us not selected from further service for the week and just like that, after three days my jury duty experience was over. I answered all of the questions put forth honestly and didn’t hold back which is probably why they didn’t want me. Unlike many others, during my service I made little effort in interacting with my fellow jurors, as is my nature. It’s not as if I hate people or anything, I’m just slow to feel comfortable around strangers and usually I prefer my own company. I’m not sure if that sounds arrogant but this was time that I was able to indulge myself reading and writing. Kind of an extended “me” time, which if you’ve ever been married or had a kid, you know can be in short supply. If only I’d have remembered my headphones I would have been watching movies to while away the time as well.

For some reason many people just didn’t understand the simple rules set forth. Either that or they felt they didn’t apply to them. First we were told during a jury pull (when potential jurors are chosen to participate in the voir dire) to remain seated unless our name was called. If your name was called then you were to sound off with in any way you liked, so long as it could be heard. That way it was clear that you were on your way over to the front to be taken upstairs. Both of those rules were constantly ignored. People were up and moving around, going to the bathroom or throwing away trash, none of which are things that cannot wait for a few minutes. Some answered very softly in a big room full of walls set at angles, filled by several hundred people. Some didn’t answer at all, seemingly sure that by their movement it should be known they were on their way. Two simple rules that couldn’t be followed. I didn’t understand it at all. Some people just think that the rules don’t apply to them no matter where they are.

Choices of clothing were an interesting thing to notice for me. There were several people who wore their work uniform the first day but abandoned it after that. One younger person wore long, baggy shorts and flip flops. On the other side of it many people were very well dressed, you could almost say they were wearing their Sunday best. I myself dressed on the lower end of the business casual scale. There are only extremely rare occasions where you can find me in a dress shirt and tie and even rarer ones that I would wear a suit, my wedding being one of those. As a matter of fact I don’t even care for wearing a dress shirt period. Mainly I dressed as I would at my job except for Wednesday when I wore jeans. Part of me wondered if those that wore their work uniforms were doing so in an effort to get dismissed from further duty. I further wondered if others dressed down in an effort not to be picked for a jury. In the end I don’t really know if that was what they intended. I’m not trying to say who was right or wrong in the clothes that they wore (other than the shorts and flip flops), I’m just making observations here. You are to free to wear what you want when you report for jury duty, just don’t be surprised if the judge calls you on it.

Lastly, as each day went by you realized what a long, boring process this could be. There was a lot of waiting in the jury room where we were supposed to remain and nobody else was allowed to enter. Unless you count that one lady was there with her boyfriend/husband and tried to spend the entire day with him. She was caught in the jury room and told to leave so they both sat on a bench right outside the door. Later she tried coming back in to use the restroom but she was rebuffed. What surprised me was once you knew just had tedious it could be, some people didn’t bring a book, an electronic device or anything else for that matter. I brought a book and my laptop and used both extensively. I can’t imagine coming in every day with nothing to occupy my time, it would make the day seem interminable. To each his own I guess.

There were many different kinds of people from a wide age range and from all walks of life. I’m sure there were many interesting people with stories to tell but I didn’t hear any of them. There were one or two that I was thinking of asking some questions of if I’d come back today or tomorrow but it was not to be. Like life the trials will go on, some people will share and some like me will keep to themselves, making observations and enjoying their solitude in a room full of people. For me, jury duty is no longer in session.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

The Unspoken Dress Code And A Sense Of Not Fitting In

Saturday was the Priesthood session of General Conference at my church. I had not attended for the last two years and since I recently had become a teacher in the Elders Quorum I decided that I should be there. In true fashion however I chose to go wearing my jeans and a polo style shirt. I was the odd man out in a sea of dark suits and white dress shirts. Sure, there was the occasional different colored shirt but by and large the white shirt paired with a tie or a complete suit is the norm. Nobody can accuse me of being the norm, certainly not in church.

I was late as usual (that didn't use to happen) and when I came into the back of the room I hesitated and then chose to stay by the doorway. I recognized that the reason for this was that looking into the room I felt alone and out of place. When I first joined the church before very long I found myself to be one of those members wearing a dress shirt, tie and slacks almost without realizing it. I've never felt comfortable dressed up and certainly not with a tie. They always seem to be choking me, a constant reminder tugging at my mind, distracting me from what I should be concentrating on.

At some point I realized I was not satisfied with this situation and I stopped wearing a tie. It was liberating to say the least however it wasn't long before I came to understand that it wasn't enough. I needed to be me, not some image of what I or anybody else thought a church member should be. So slowly but surely I've been testing the waters and so far it's been good. When I first started coming to this ward I met Mikey and we became friends and on the first day that I wore my jeans he thanked me, saying that now he didn't feel so out of place. You see, Mikey also doesn't dress in conventional "church" attire, nor is he the standard Mormon, but he's a cool person with a great heart and a strong desire to become a better person. He also teaches Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and used to fight MMA in the UFC.

I feel that there is this unwritten dress code that seems to be in effect in the church. Nobody tells you that you have to dress in any particular way. Nobody comes down on you or even says anything, at least not that I've seen. However it's still there, on the periphery, lurking at the edge of my consciousness. I know for certain that you cannot pass the sacrament unless you are wearing at a minimum slacks, a white dress shirt and a tie. Perhaps I feel this way because this style of dress is so prevalent that you cannot help but notice when someone is different, that they don't look the same as almost everyone else. Maybe I'm only imagining this unspoken pressure because of my own insecurities. I guess that anything is possible.

At any rate, until I'm told something different I will continue to dress as I feel like on that particular day. If at any time I'm informed I need to dress differently because I'm a teacher or for me to gain passage to another class well, I'll have to address that issue at that time, but I don't see myself going back to what was so uncomfortable both physically and mentally for me. The most important thing is that I'm there right? Ready to learn with the right attitude and spirit. There is something to be said for individuality and I guess I'll be one of the poster boys for it in church.

By the way, during the Priesthood session my quorum president came back to talk with me for a few moments and after he went back in and took his seat he pulled another chair next to him and motioned for me to come on in and sit, thereby showing me that indeed the most important thing was that I was there and that I should feel comfortable and accepted. That's how I took it and I appreciated the gesture. I just need to get more comfortable in my own skin I guess.

Written and Published by Don Leach