Hole

So I followed a link on Twitter to a poem from Ali Trotta that, for lack of a better word, moved me. I felt the need to, not respond, but get this out of me. Admitting this to myself isn't easy but it's part of my healing process I guess. Change though, I have no idea how to after so many years.

Hole

I don’t know if I was born

Or shaped this way

I only know this way

Living in fear

That I’m not good enough

For people to like

That I’m not good enough

For a woman to love

That I’m not good enough

To exist

That any woman will find

my love a disappointment

and leave me alone

If I’m already alone

Why take a chance

I have no hope

No expectations

Only daydreams

Of reshaping my past

They can never come true

I’m left with myself

Not loving myself

Hating myself

Wanting to change

Not knowing how

You can’t grow anything

When you have a hole

In your heart

Sometimes walls are the

Only thing you can build

No matter how painful

notmovingpictures Episode 87: Rejection Sucks

On this episode I drop the news about finally making myself submit a short story I wrote only to have it rejected and what my plans are for it (and other writing projects) moving forward. Then I talk about being diagnosed with depression and how it seems to run in my family. Next I talk about my experiences visiting Peru and how they differ from a travel podcast I have been listening to before segueing back into depression and my writing. Lastly I read the rejected short story Aware. I've already started editing it again so it will turn up somewhere soon. I promise.



Opening music - Alloy - Live To See The Day
Closing music: Rollins Band - Disconnect

Email: www.notmovingpictures@gmail.com  Twitter: @notmovingpics
Blog: www.notmovingpictures.blogspot.com

Older episodes can be found by going to www.archive.org. Just search for notmovingpictures.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.