Hole

So I followed a link on Twitter to a poem from Ali Trotta that, for lack of a better word, moved me. I felt the need to, not respond, but get this out of me. Admitting this to myself isn't easy but it's part of my healing process I guess. Change though, I have no idea how to after so many years.

Hole

I don’t know if I was born

Or shaped this way

I only know this way

Living in fear

That I’m not good enough

For people to like

That I’m not good enough

For a woman to love

That I’m not good enough

To exist

That any woman will find

my love a disappointment

and leave me alone

If I’m already alone

Why take a chance

I have no hope

No expectations

Only daydreams

Of reshaping my past

They can never come true

I’m left with myself

Not loving myself

Hating myself

Wanting to change

Not knowing how

You can’t grow anything

When you have a hole

In your heart

Sometimes walls are the

Only thing you can build

No matter how painful