Learning To Ride

Since it was such an unusually nice day today my wife thought it was time that we taught our soon to be eight year old son how to ride a bicycle sans training wheels. He had won a one hundred dollar gift card in a anti-smoking contest last year so at Christmas we bought him a brand new bike and helmet. Off we drove to the park closest to the house where I unloaded the bike and imparted upon him my considerable bike-related wisdom.



 

The problem was that he didn't listen to my instructions because he was very afraid of falling and when he doesn't listen I tend to get frustrated. I managed to calm down enough to let him know that even when I let go for a second or two that I was still going to hold on again and not let him fall. He was slightly better than when we began but is still far away from going solo. He's having difficulty understanding how to keep himself from leaning over.

 

The plan is that if the weather is nice again next weekend we'll go over to Riverside Park where I'll be able to rent a bicycle and let him see the old man in action and perhaps by observing he'll learn something. If I had the money I'd go out and buy a bike for me right now so that we could ride all the time. Of course I haven't ridden one in about twenty years so it's possible that when I write next week it'll be about my new bruises and abrasions. It is possible that it all could come back to me nicely but I'm not counting on it.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

What Good Examples - First Draft

I've been wanting to write this one ever since it happened to me months ago and finally I've started. This will certainly be one of the songs I want to do for my spoken word/music project. I can't wait to get the time to have my music friends collaborate with and turn this into something.......if I'm lucky. At any rate, I've got to try. Why else write it if I can't do it? Tired of waiting for it to happen, time to make it happen.

You came flying over three lanes hell bent on making it into the exit

Unfortunately I had the audacity to already be in said exit lane

Forced to apply your brakes to merge behind me you voiced your displeasure manually

Hand gestures began to fly and naturally I returned them in kind
Not the best presentation of who I am but hey, when in Rome allow yourself to sink to the lowest common denominator
Why not after all, I’m only human you know
At the bottom of the ramp I stopped at the red light waiting to turn
You came flying in beside me in your minivan hurling curses in my direction before you even screeched to a halt
Then the real fun began
According to you I’m overweight
More than that I’m bald, wear glasses and apparently you don’t much like the way I dress
At least that’s what it sounded like to my ears since my windows were still up
I used body language to let you know how feeble your insults were how little sense they made
That’s when I noticed the little pre-teen sitting next to you
I noticed because she took up your battle cry and started to weigh in on your behalf
You have to ask yourself just how much life experience can someone that young have to use in a battle of the witless like this
Turns out not much
Mostly she had some neck rolling and generally just a loud mouth
Not much gravitas added by her lack of years
In a dream I followed them to their stop then proceeded to jump out of my truck and snap kick her side mirror to shreds
Merely to instruct them on how insulting people in your car isn’t so anonymous and that we are responsible for our actions
Maybe next time they’d be more careful with the words they chose
Maybe next time they wouldn’t throw rude gestures with careless abandon
Maybe next time they’d think twice about behaving so poorly
Maybe………………………..
But then I woke up and realized that even if I were able to talk to them calmly and politely they probably wouldn’t be open to listening, to learning, to becoming better people
They wouldn’t be able to see this great, grandiose example I was trying to show them
More likely they’d call the cops and I’d be the one to get in trouble
I might even get shot at, this is Oklahoma after all
The light turned green and as I started my left turn I glanced quickly into my rearview mirror and saw my son looking at me with questions in his eyes
Man, what good examples we had shown

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Usurpers One, Two, Three

I have this old recliner in my house. I've had it al least since I got out of the Army in 1995 and maybe even longer than that. It's hard to say, I mean it isn't like I made special note of the date I received it because I'm sure I never dreamed that I'd have had it this long. My mother gave it to me so perhaps she could recall. Moms tend to remember details like that in my experience.

For the longest time it was my chair, my place of refuge.Then I got married. At first my wife always left it for me to sit in but gradually she started to sit in it more and more. Then we had a son and as he got older the more he tried to claim it from me.

However recently there has been another who has increasingly tried to make claim on it. The latest usurper to my throne is Alex The Cat. Ever since he adopted us he's become more demanding of what he feels is his by right. My recliner is being taken from me and there's nothing I can do about it. First a wife, then a son and now a cat. Such is life.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Vacation Visit To The Record Store

One of the things to remember about going on a family vacation is that most of the activities will be for the family to do together instead of what only one person wants to do. Please note that you should never force your family to do things that are only your interest because they’ll be bored and if they’re bored they will complain and if they complain that will ruin the good time you are trying to have. You see where I’m going with this, it’s just not worth the hassle of arguing about things when you should be enjoying what you’re doing. For instance, I knew that when we took a day trip to New York City on our recent vacation that unless there just happened to be a music store right across the street from someplace that my wife wanted to go, then it wouldn’t be happening for me. One thing you need to know about me is that I can spend hours in a music or book store drifting from spot to spot as I painstakingly go through the racks and stacks looking for that one gem that will make my face light up.

 

While I knew that I wouldn’t be having that experience (someday, someday) in NYC, that knowledge was softened somewhat when I found two shops in Easton, Pa where we were visiting along with a trip to a flea market. On our second day In Easton I spotted Sackers located at 60 Center Square which is a strange address since Sackers is right by the traffic circle. It’s a comic book/music/pawn/collectibles store contained in a very large space. Unfortunately there is a ton of stuff there and most of it is piled over and the owner even admitted that he didn’t know for sure everything that he had. The comics were the main draw for me here as the records were pretty standard fair. It was just a lot of music that was popular years ago but not much that was rare or unusual, stuff that could be found pretty much anywhere. Still, I had a good time walking around looking at things.

Later, I found out that roughly one block away there was an actual record store called Used Grooves at 401 Northampton St. Unfortunately, it was closed by the time I was able to walk by. Still, just being armed with the knowledge that it was there was enough to have me salivating at the bit for a chance to go in and peruse their stock. As luck would have it, or more accurately not have it, I wasn’t able to visit it for at least five days due to other plans. There just never seemed to be a time for me to get away on my own so that I could satisfy my own selfish desires. That sounds kind of lewd, doesn’t it? With some patience sprinkled with some artfully crafted hints to my wife like “I really want to go to that record store” eventually my time came. The skies opened and my prayers were heard as we had a break in our schedule, an open day to relax and my wife and mother-in-law dropped me off, probably so they wouldn’t be forced to listen to me whine about it anymore.

The only caveat however was that my son wanted to go with me. If you want to spend time without looking at a clock I would advise you not to bring a seven year old along for the ride. Their attention span is short at best however I couldn’t deny him. He just loves tagging along with his old man, hanging out and eventually I think these kinds of events will help open him up to more in life and he’ll become a well developed young man. So there we were, we walked in and I was greeted by row after row of vinyl records. I didn’t know where to begin so I just drifted over to the rock-various artists section and slowly flipped through what was available. Pretty fast I found two compilations, one featuring American punk and rock bands and the other U.K. bands. It was all music right up my alley and I gleefully clutched them to my chest.

Right about this time the questions started. Not the “Can I help you with anything” but the “When are we leaving” kind of questions. The (not-so) little guy had exhausted his patience already and wanted to move on to greener pastures. I however did not share that opinion and was far from ready. I knew then that I wouldn't be able to spend the amount of time that I wanted and that a deal needed to be brokered so that I could stall him just a little longer. With promises from me that we were only going to stay “just a little longer” he seemed to accept his fate, temporarily at least. As I moved towards the front of the store I saw a rather small section that said Punk/Hardcore and knew that I'd found my spot. Quickly I started flipping through the bin as I looked at vinyl with some band names that I knew (alright not a lot) and even more that I didn't know. This is far from a setback however, it's just what I like, the chance to find some new to me music. It's even better if they are local to regional bands that never released a great deal of albums. There's a different kind of joy when you unearth some really cool music that for whatever reason never made it big.

After I made my way completely through the bin I had more albums than I knew my wife would be cool with me bringing home. With virtually no previous knowledge about these bands I had to make some hard decisions and fast. Besides, my son was starting to grumble again. That's when the saleslady came to my aid. She showed my son that there were records for children right below the bin that I was looking in. It only took a few seconds for him to locate a Batman book and record set that cost more (a paltry $10) than any one record that I was looking at. As he excitedly looked up at me (something that will only happen for a few more years, the kid is huge I tell you) and asked if he could have it there was only one answer I could give. Of course he could have it. What kind of selfish jerk would I be if I denied him while I was indulging myself? Besides, I want to bring him up right, with a love of the vinyl. Now we just need to work on his patience. Yeah I know that only helps me also get to spend time on the things that I like but hey, at least it's something we can enjoy together and that's always a fathers job. Bring them up right and they'll remember days like this forever.

By the way, we also went to a flea market in nearby Quakerstown where I was able to find and buy the only punk record there. Not only that but I also haggled down the price an extra dollar. How's that for patience and persistence? If only I had more money to spend, I'd end up broke.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Visiting With My Father

One activity I forgot to mention the other day about the things I've done on my vacation was that I had a chance to go see my father, or more accurately, his grave. My father passed on in 1999 and his latest wife (he's been married at least seven times that I know of, I've written about this before) didn't want my aunt and my dad's twin sister to let his children know. You see he had married her after leaving my Mom and then all those years later he had returned and married her again. Anyway, she didn't want his original firstborn children to know anything about his passing on I suppose so that we wouldn't show up at his funeral and spoil the little myth that they had built up about their marriage and life together for all of the people that thought they knew him.

Anyway, I'm getting far too off track here. Since the Ft. Indiantown Gap National Graveyard is right off of the highway that takes you to Hershey, Pa we decided to stop by on our way back home, after we had all of our fun. When they do a burial there you do not get to see them put the casket in the ground. They have a spot where the do the whole military ceremony thing with the folding of the flag and the twenty-one gun salute and then you go on your way. So the first and only time I had been there I never actually knew where he was to be buried. I was able to look up the information online and it didn't take very long to find his grave.

Once the grave was found my wife, son, mother -in-law and her husband stood there for a few minutes and then they gave me some personal time to do whatever I wanted. I'm not sure I believe that a persons ghost or soul or a piece of it or whatever lingers on at their gravesite. I think it can for the place they died, especially if it was a violent demise but I'm not convinced about their final resting place. Still, there were some things I never got the chance to say to my father face to face that I needed to get off of my chest.

I won't get into the details but I was the one who stayed with him from the middle of my junior year of high school until I dropped out of college, I had his back in a manner of thinking. Then he treated me worse than everybody else and it took some time to forgive him but because of the situation there was no closure over what he had done. I forgave but didn't forget which was the sensible thing to do when dealing with him. Now I finally had a chance to get some things off of my chest in the only way that remained. It probably worked out better this way, at least now I didn't have to hear any lies.

It only took about two minutes and I was done, with as much closure as I'll ever possibly be able to have. That's the way it goes, I can't change any thing that happened so I just have to deal with it. Life goes on and hopefully lessons are learned and not repeated. Hopefully.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

My Father Had A Wandering Eye

My father had a wandering eye which luckily (for him) matched his feet. The man moved around and apparently could do some talking with women. He seemingly always had a women to take care of him. If he got rid of one it was a sure bet that another would soon take her place. More than likely she had already been sized up and prepped for his future wooing, like I said the man had a way of talking to the ladies.

He also had the unfortunate talent of being a habitual liar. This became clear when time after time he would tell me something that always proved to be untrue. Usually over some small, inconsequential matter. For instance, he would ask if one of my sisters had gotten his birthday card and of course they hadn’t, because it had never been sent. Or he would state that he had sent a gift for my nephew at Christmas and when it didn’t show up he’d use his standard line of “I’ll have to get a trace put on it.”

You can only hear those lines so many times before you catch on and it gets old. Maybe that’s why he kept changing his women so much. To my knowledge he was married at least seven times and there is a good sized chunk of time unaccounted for. We had stopped communicating for a time due to the fact that he had changed his telephone number after cashing some checks from the military that were mine. You see, I’m named after him and since we share the same name it was rather easy for him. What’s a little thing like being the only person to stand by him to come before money, right?

It wasn’t until I was away in the first Gulf War that I decided to make an effort to reconcile and so I got my mother to call my aunt (his twin sister) to see if he wanted to talk. Of course he did but it ended up stalling out once again after I had driven several hours to see him and my half-siblings. I only ended up meeting one of them, the twin boys (yup, he was a twin that had twins) never showed up. Maybe they learned a thing or two from him.

Because he was such a habitual liar it was hard to tell truth from fiction where he was concerned but there was a time or two where I thought he really had let his guard down and let me have a peek inside of the man. Once was about his time in Vietnam and the other was about things that had happened to him in the family when he was young. But hell, what do I know? Like I keep saying, the man could talk and spin a lie like no other.

We’re not sure if my grandfather was really my grandfather. There was something going on and old man Bennett swore the twins weren’t his and he kicked my grandma out of the house and divorced her. Grandpa took her in and gave the children his name. At least that’s how the story goes and most of the interested parties have passed on so we’ll probably never know the truth. He’s still grandpa to me though, no matter what. Maybe that had something to do with why Dad was the way he was.

Now I’m a father and the way I feel about it is that it’s my job is to ensure that my son never turns out like the grandfather that he’s never known. You see, I had my son a bit late in life. I was forty-two years old when he was born and my father’s death preceded that birth by about seven and a half years. It sounds a bit harsh to say but I think my son is better off never knowing his grandfather. Never having to be disappointed as to why he infrequently sees him or calls him or by the lies he tells about cards and gifts, none of which were ever asked for.

It is a harsh assessment but also a fair one. You reap what you sow after all. I guess we’ll see what kind of a job I’ve done in a few decades.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Saturday Is The Hang Out Day

Saturday is quickly becoming the hang out day for me and my son. During the week we usually only get to see each other for about half an hour in the morning each day. I get off work at midnight and get into bed two or three hours later then I'm up at 7am to get him ready for school. Afterwards I (try) to go back to sleep for a few hours. It's not easy but I do it for him. So when Saturday comes around I try and make it about him. Right now we're rolling out on our own for at least every other week and more often if we can.

I don't know if my wife quite understands it, it's not that we don't want to be around her but I think since he spends all of his time with her during the week after school he wants some special time for just us guys. Plus it's  not like we spend the entire day away from her. Just yesterday I did some yardwork first and then we boogied out of the house about 3:30pm to the primary destination, The Comic Empire. He chose a few comic books and I got The Walking Dead #20. Then we went to an electronics repair shop to see what was wrong with a Nintendo DS XL that my wife had found. She's been hitting Craigslist finding free stuff and some people were moving and left a bunch of stuff on the curb. She found the DS there along with a Playstation 2 amongst other things.

The guy there checked it out and although it partially works it would take about $75 to replace the top screen. We decided to think about it and went over to Vintage Stock to see how much the used ones go for in their store. Once that was done Walmart was next to check on getting a stylus for each of our tablets. That was a bust, you can get them online from their website for a fourth of the price that they charge on the store. That's very strange. Then we backtracked and went over to Toys R Us to see how much they charged for a new DS. Now that we were completely armed with our information (and he got a chance to play on their demo model) our bellies were rumbling so he chose McDonalds as the place to fill them. It doesn't hurt that he can play there and I can use the free wi-fi.

A few hours and a lot of play with new friends later we called my wife to have her meet us at Toys R Us to check on a karaoke machine that her mother wanted us to buy him for his birthday. While there I decided to give up on the idea of getting the DS fixed and instead bought a new 2DS. For the price it just made more sense to buy something new with a warranty that is a better product. He didn't see me so this will be a complete surprise for him. My wife wasn't so sure but he is like me and his uncle Gary, we love our electronic toys. The night still wasn't over though. Next up was Target where my wife wanted to check on some new jeans for our son and her as well. We found a pair for him, he's growing so much that none of his fit him anymore.

I also looked at the stylus they had but found the situation was the same as I had found earlier at Walmart. Speaking of Walmart, you guessed it, my wife wanted to go there next for a few things so back we went to the same store we'd visited earlier. Eventually I got her to leave as the night was getting quite late and we made our way home where I was sure I was going to be staying. I got our son a bath and changed myself to get ready for bed only to find that we were out of milk which we would be needing in the morning. Yeah, back on came the clothes and back to Walmart (a different one this time) I went. It was over as fast as I could make it because now it was after midnight.

I made it home but not into bed for a little bit. It was a very busy day spent running from place to place and then back to the same places but finally it was over. I was exhausted. Sleep was now to be mine. Who knows what we'll do on our next hang out day, maybe some hiking or even a movie. I just hope it won't be as much running around. So what do you do on your hang out days?

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

poem for my mother

while I was young
life was hell
falling asleep at night
listening to you rant
how i was no good
"i'll send you to your father"
even though you didn't
know where he was
for a bad grade
you yelled at me
then gave me the same
when i got a good one
the wrong lesson learned
it's better not to try
with my shared name
secrets passed over me
life lived oblivious
left out always excluded
is it a wonder
it took me so long
to learn my truth
recovery can be a bitch

reflecting on time
raising three young children
i see the difficulties
you had to live with
no help from the runaway
man that chose you
society looked down
it's long nose
the short supply of money
engulfed by life's demands
the pain and anger
left on your shoulders
is it any wonder
it came our way
spilling over the levy
overwhelming your defenses
you didn't know
how to cope
the world wasn't fair
life even less so
it's the only way
you knew to fight back

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

poem for my father

in your life
you held many titles
father and son
Sergeant First Class
Vietnam veteran
deadbeat dad
champion habitual liar
disappointer of your
children's children

i wonder which one
filled you with
the most pride
the most shame
if you could feel it
it's far too late
to find out
you've left again
this time for good

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

My Father's Best Advice

My name is Ernesto Rivera. Roughly a week after my fourteenth birthday my mother came into my room and said that my father wanted to speak with me which came as quite a shock because I had never seen him before in my life. While my mother was pregnant with me he left her for his mistress and in the years since he had never come to see me. Not for when I as in the school play, not for any awards I've received, not for any of my futbol games, not even ever on a birthday. As a matter of fact I have never even received so much as a letter, a birthday card or a single present from him although he did make sure that he was never late sending money every month to my mother, presumably to help in my upbringing. So you can imagine what a surprise it was to hear my mother speak those words.

I looked her with a blank expression on my face, dumbfounded. Had I heard her wrong? Surely that must be the case. But she confirmed that he was there and wanted to talk to me. I asked why and she merely shrugged her shoulders and said for me to go to him in the living room. As I walked into the room she disappeared into the kitchen although I am quite sure that if one were to be able to float through the walls like a ghost she would be found with her ear on the other side of the door straining to hear what was being said. Upon seeing him for this unusual first time I must say I was not impressed. Throughout the years I had built up stories and images in my head that could explain why he had not been involved in my life, after all, I was his firstborn child as far as I knew. He looked nothing like the covert spy or adventurer that I had imagined him to be.

I sat down quietly and looked at him even more intently. He was shorter than me, was starting to put extra weight on his middle and his hair was thinning quickly so he mistakenly chose to leave it long and used a hideous combover to make believe he had more than he actually did. He looked like any other man I would see walking on the street. There was nothing about him that stood out. His clothes didn't seem to match the person, as if he were trying to disguise who he was, to make himself appear younger and more attractive. Instead they failed miserably and only drew attention to the aging that he was trying so desperately to hide. Underneath a nauseating coat of cologne I detected a faint odor of alcohol emanating from his sweating pores and he looked as if his nerves had gotten the better of him. He mustered a quickly fading smile and greeted me.

Hello son.

Hello sir.

I have come at this time because it is your fourteenth birthday and you are now becoming a man so I thought it would be appropriate for me to give you some life advice.

But my birthday was last week.

Ah, a few days do not matter!

He tried to smile again and I only looked at him, stone faced, devoid of emotion, not speaking. His smile faltered once again.

Well, to start, as you are getting older you will start having feelings for girls and they will try to trick you, to make you think they love you when they don't. They are sly devils who only look to get a man in their clutches so that they can sponge off of him and have him take care of them for the rest of their lives. Just like your mo..... well, never mind that. They will play you against your friends or other men if you allow them to. Do not do so, if you do you will have a lifetime of problems. Do you understand what I am saying?

As my mother had done to me a few moments before I merely shrugged my shoulders. This was all mystifying to me, even more so as to why he was even here in the first place.

Well, I'm sure it will become all too clear to you as you get older. Now then, here are some simple rules to live by. Number one, never go with a girl that weighs more than you. There is nothing sadder than a woman physically dominating a man. It's disgraceful and emasculating. Second, never marry a lazy woman. Pick one who understands it's her place to work in the house and cook and take care of you. If she leaves the house dirty while she lays on the sofa eating candies and watches her soap operas, if she makes you cook for yourself or get your food elsewhere then it makes you appear to be less of a man. You do not want to invite that kind of condemnation from your peers. It's degrading. Also, do not let her mother come between you or insert herself into your lives, they tend to be very intrusive when they get old and if they can they will always create problems. Lastly, never choose a woman you have to explain yourself to. You are the man and as such you should never have to explain what you do or say to a woman. You must rule the house without questions from her. There, with those simple rules you can make your life much easier and not have too many problems. Do you have any questions?

I wanted to scream DO I HAVE ANY QUESTIONS? OF COURSE I DO! WHY DID YOU LEAVE US? WHY HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN ME BEFORE? WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME? WAS I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? I wanted to scream that and much more at him but it was not correct, it would be disrespectful and not proper so instead I tried to mask what I was feeling and appear contemplative. What next came to mind now was why after fourteen years, after all of my life, did you come to me now with this? This information is what you felt you needed to share with me? This horrible information that even I at my inexperienced age could tell was completely wrong and out of place? That's the best you could do? Yet even this I could not say to him. Instead....

Well, I guess, that is, no, I better not....

It's okay son, go ahead and ask me what your question is.

It's just that I was wondering which of those rules was the one you didn't follow? (As I blurted this out a confused look spread across his face. Now that I had said it I couldn't stop myself.) I mean with my mother, which of these rules did you not follow with her?

His face immediately turned a bright red and he started to stammer and shake as he attempted to control himself. He stood up quickly and for a moment I thought he would strike me for my impudence but instead he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his face with it.

Yes, well that's a subject for another time as I have some pressing engagements that I must attend to. Please consider what I have said to you. It will really help you later in life, trust me.

With that he turned on his heel and started to leave the room. He was halfway there when he put his hand in his pocket and stopped as if remembering something. Slowly he turned and I could see that he was still visibly shaken by my comment. It was almost enough to make me feel sorry for him, almost but not quite. He pulled out a crumpled card and gave it to me, no longer trying to make eye contact.

This is for you, it's not much but I thought you might use it for something, uh, for something that you like. Perhaps for some of those history books you like to read or you could go see one of those American movies that you like so much. Well, use it on whatever you feel like. Goodbye son.

Once more he turned on his heel and this time he did leave the room, going out by way of the garage and I followed so that I could lock the door, there were thieves here after all and as I walked back into the living room I looked at what he had given me and saw that it was a old birthday card with a clown on it, clearly intended for someone younger than I and immediately I thought how pathetic it was. When I opened it a 50 soles bill fell out and then I noticed the inscription. "Son, I know I haven't been there for you and I am sorry. Please forgive me. Papi"

Now I was the one confused. What did this mean? How old was this card? How did he know about my reading and the movies that I liked? I heard a sound coming from the kitchen and thought what did I really know? Is there something that my mother hasn't told me? I started towards the kitchen but halted, unsure of what I would say or do if I went in there. Instead I slowly made my way back to my room but could not bring myself to enter it and then changed my mind and climbed the steps to the roof. Once there I laid on my back and stared at the sky, barely noticing the clouds as they drifted across a rare sunny sky for this time of the year. My mind instead was on all of the questions that I now had and they threatened to overwhelm me. Before long I fell asleep with none of them answered.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

I just finished reading "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy and it left a very large impression on me. The story is about a father and his young son walking the road after an apocalypse has destroyed most of humanity and the way we live. Gone are all the simple things that we take for granted every day of our existence like electricity, going to the store and basic civility. The son was born after the event happened (the mother ends up committing suicide) so he doesn't actually know what the world was like before this happened. The pair are walking the road trying to find food and a reason to go on for another day and it really encapsulates the monotony of trying to make it day after day in a world where even living and breathing is a struggle and nothing comes easy.

What really got me about this book is that I have a four year old son and I immediately began to think about what I would do if I were in this situation. Even though they are ostensibly looking for other "good people" the father consistently stays away from any other people on the rare occasions that they come across them and doesn't seem to want to interact with anyone else. The only thing that seems to drive him and keep him going is the fact that he has to take care of his young son who cannot take care of himself. Otherwise it seems like he would have given up long before.

I know we all like to think that in extreme circumstances we would do the right thing and not lose our humanity and try to take care of others but I have to honestly question whether that would happen. More than likely people would quickly revert to an animalistic attitude of taking what they want no matter what it would do to others, even if it meant that by doing so they were condemning those others to sure death. More simply they would resort to killing others by their own hands with no conscience simply because they wanted to exert some form of control over someone else. A few years ago there was a bad ice storm that caused us to lose power for six days and it was a struggle for a lot of people in Tulsa to last that long without all of our daily conveniences so I understand a bit of how quickly things can spiral out of control.

If there was a world changing event would I be any different than the father in the book? I know for a fact that my first priority would the the health and safety of my family but how far and to what extent would I go? What if a friend was starving and I only had food to last for a few days. Would I share with him or keep it all for my family? What if I came across somebody else's food and supplies, would I try to steal them so that my family had plenty and whoever owned them would be left with nothing? By trying to keep my humanity and civility I might condemn my family to death by starvation themselves. Living a life that way might actually not be worth living. It's not always the end result that is the most important thing, sometimes it's how you got there, but then again sometimes the end result is the only important thing. I have no answers to these questions because I've never been put in that situation before. It's a lot to think about, that's the best I can say.

Published by Don Leach

Please Not Again.........

This past Friday night as I was finishing my dinner break at work I received a call from my mother. She wanted to tell me that my sister, Teresa, was in the hospital and had been since the previous evening. My heart immediately jumped into my throat. If you notice my previous few posts you’ll see that it had been one year since my mother’s near fatal heart attack and my mind instantly went to that situation and I could feel the dread welling up inside me as I waited for her to tell me what could only be extremely bad news. As it turns out it was not life threatening but nevertheless was not pleasant for her either. You see last year Teresa (my older sister by three years) was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. I won’t get into the details of what sent her to the hospital but my mother explained that it was related. Of course my family is always very late in informing each other when something bad has happened to one of us. Usually by the time everyone knows about it the afflicted person is already out of the hospital or almost over their symptoms.

Last year was a very trying time for my family. First my mother almost died from a severe heart attack. Then my son burned his hands on a friends grill. Within a few weeks of that, just a few days before we were to go to my sister’s wedding my car died. While home everyone enjoyed spending time with my son John and he in turn loved being around them. As a matter of fact you could say he flourished with the attention given to him. The only negative thing for me was that my younger sister, Karen, did not show up to see her nephew, her brother and her sister-in-law nor did she see her older sister find happiness and share in that. She has made her choices in her life long ago for the things that are important to her and her children and her family are far down on the list. The day after returning home from my sister’s wedding we had a flat tire on my wife’s car which we had driven home. This caused us to buy a new tire. Next we found out that my car was a lost cause and would have to be replaced even though we did not have the money to do so. After some time sharing the one working car that we now had we were finally able to get an older truck for me. After that came the news that Teresa had Parkinson’s disease.

As you can imagine everything that transpired put us in a financial hole that we spent the rest of the year and the early part of 2010 digging ourselves out of. As a matter of fact it took our tax return to finally pay everything off. From my plane ticket home to see my mother, to the care needed for my sons hands (which his doctor was so wonderful for not charging us for every visit we made to have his bandages changed), to the cost of making a trip home and then a new tire followed by a new (to me) vehicle and then other little things that popped up (a few repairs to the truck) it just kept adding up so that not only was it a drain on our finances but on our marriage as well. Throughout it all I kept trying to keep a positive attitude and tell myself that it could always be worse. My mother could have died. My son’s hands could have been permanently damaged. My sister’s disease could have been further along and the quality of her life could have been worse. The truck could have needed more costly repairs. It goes on and on.

It does no good to bemoan the fact that bad things are happening to you. To question “Why me?” and wallow in misery. It’s much harder to be thankful that nothing worse happened. Still, when I heard my mother say that Teresa was in the hospital, I’ll admit to a few seconds of that sinking feeling that it was all going to start over again. But I was able to quickly correct those thoughts and tell myself to wait until I found out what was wrong and then I could start thinking about what would happen in the near future. Thankfully my sister is out of the hospital and recovering. I know I need to try to follow the idea of “it could always be worse” even though it’s not easy. Truthfully, rarely is anything worth having without effort so I will continue to try. It’s all I can do, no promises though. That’s life.

Tulsa State Fair and Night Ranger

Wednesday will be a big day in my house. My wife and I are taking our 17 month old son to the Tulsa State Fair. This is the only day we are going this year. Personally I do not enjoy going to places like this where there are huge, monster crowds but this year I am looking forward to it for 2 reasons.

The first and most selfish reason is that Night Ranger is playing. The deal is you get to see them for free with your ticket to the fair. I never got to see Night Ranger back in the day and I feel that they are the best music group at the fair this year. I always enjoyed their music. Most people remember them for playing slower songs like "Sister Christian" which was a huge hit for them but my preference leans toward their harder rocking songs like "You Can Still Rock In America" and "Don't Tell Me You Love Me." People tend to forget that they did indeed rock hard with their twin guitar attack and thumping bass and drums. Earlier this year they released a new CD entitled "Hole In The Sun" which does have moments that sound like the old Night Ranger while also modernizing their sound and focuses on less ballads and more rocking. Pick it up if you feel like taking a chance on an old band doing something new. Come on, give it a shot.

My second and more important reason is that this is the first year that my son will be able to really enjoy the fair. We went last year but he was only 5 months old and couldn't comprehend what was going on around him. This year not only will he understand but he will be able to interact with us and with all of the kiddie rides, animals, etc. I might enjoy it even more than him to tell you the truth. Just the idea of standing next to him on the merry-go-round or watching his face light up when he sees the animals and all of the lights and sounds. There will be so much for him to take in he'll probably be in sensory overload within minutes. In reality I just want to give him the chance to experience with me all the things that I never had the chance to do with my father. I just have this need to be there to teach and lead him through life so that he can develop the tools necessary to grow up healthy and happy. Maybe this is a pipe dream because I know that by the time he's a teenager he probably won't want to be around his old man but at least he'll have the opportunity. As long as we keep rocking together for a little while I'll be happier than you can ever imagine and that's what it's all about.