Saturday, August 13, 2011

Losing It In School (No, Sadly Not That Way)..............

During my entire time spent in the secondary educational system I can only recall vomiting while in school one time. Then again, it only took that one time for it to prove to be more than memorable. If my memory serves me well (and it probably doesn't) this lone instance of regurgitation occurred in my freshman year of high school at Ironton High School. In those days there was one girls and boys bathroom for each floor and they were located on opposite ends of the floor. It was just my luck that my class was on the wrong end on this fateful day.

I've always had this strange knowledge early on of the fact that I was going to puke and as I sat in my English class I felt my discomfort growing with each minute that went by. There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to hurl and soon. Still, for some odd reason I didn't make my way to the boys restroom with haste. Perhaps I was in denial despite my knowledge or maybe I was trying to convince myself that I could hold it all in until after the class was over. Whatever the reason there I sat in with my hand covering my mouth waiting. Until I could no longer sit that is.

The point of no return came and I realized that the choice was to move now and take a chance of making it in time or to continue to sit and blow chunks all over my desk. With that thought in mind I jumped out of my seat and quickly walked to the door. I didn't bother to say anything to my teacher because I knew that if I opened my mouth something other than words would come out. Instead I made my way into the hallway and started the long march to relief. The further the distance I covered the faster I began to walk and still it seemed as if somehow all of the laws of physics were being broken and the distance was magically increasing instead of decreasing.

Luckily nobody attempted to stop me for if they had then they would have been witness to my sick spilling forth, perhaps on them. Finally I turned the corner and now nearly running with my hand still over my mouth I covered the last twenty feet or so and turned the last corner to make it to the doorway of the bathroom where I instantly and violently lost all control of my body and projectile vomited as if I were a character in a horror movie. Inside the doorway there was a wall that formed a short walkway that led you into the bathroom proper without anybody outside being able to look inside. That walkway was now covered in a watery film that was spreading evenly across the floor. Unbelievably I had not a drop on me.

Doing the only thing that made sense to me at this point I tiptoed into the bathroom and went to the sink where I washed off my face and rinsed out my mouth and then looked around to see if I could find a mop. There were none to be found. The mess was far too large to tackle with the thin and tiny paper towels available and besides, if I were to kneel down to attempt to clean it up then the smell would have sadly made it happen all over again. Instead I tiptoed my way back out the door and carefully looked around to see if anyone had noticed the insanity that had just gone down.

For once I was in luck as the hallway was still clear so I silently made my way back towards the classroom. On the way I met a classmate who had been sent to make sure I was okay. The teacher had been around for awhile and knew that when I had left so quickly that there was a good reason for it. I told my classmate about all that had happened and he was naturally pretty grossed out by the tale. We returned to our class and the rest of the time went along fairly quietly without any other excitement yet I still sat there nervously, afraid that at any moment now the door would burst open and the janitor would point at me telling everyone what I had done. I said a silent prayer that I would not be embarrassed in front of the whole class.

The bell rang and like everyone else I went off to my next class and tried to forget what had happened. Later in the day my classmate that had been sent to check on me informed me that his next class had been on that side of the building and was close to the bathroom when another boy ran past him into the bathroom only to make contact with what I had left behind. He went sliding into the wall and almost fell down. A little shaken and not sure why he had slid he continued on into the restroom never knowing how close he had come to rolling around on the floor covered in my putrid heavings. I didn't even try to find out after that if anybody else had any problems going into the bathroom that day. Sometimes it's better to be ignorant of what's going on around you, for your own sanity.

Published by Don Leach

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