notmovingpictures Episode 077: Vamos Peru Carajo!

Peru qualifies for the World Cup, I'm working on lyrics for a new song and I tell a tale of being too young to buy beer. Don't judge me and certainly don't do what I did. I was young and stupid, what's your excuse?



Opening music: Alloy - Live To See The Day
Closing music: La Bicicleta de Alan - Lima

Email: notmovingpictures@gmail.com  Twitter: @notmovingpics
Blog: www.notmovingpictures.blogspot.com

Older episodes of the podcast can be found by going to www.archive.org and searching for notmovingpictures.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

The Day, part 1, An Original Story

                                                                                                                                            November 16

Everyone left has a name for the day when the world as we knew it ended and never would be the same. Some call it the change, others refer to it as z day or even zero day. Me? I simply call it the day. Not many people throughout history can say they saw the clear demarcated line of when such a drastic transformation of society occurred, regardless of the country or continent you were on. Us survivors can though. Been there, done that and it’s nothing to brag about.

The thing is though, where I was when it all went down. Somehow I ended up in Lima, Peru when they took over, a very foreign place compared to my small town Oklahoma upbringing. How did I end up here? Chasing a girl that’s how. Anna Maria was in Tulsa on a temporary work visa when I met her. She was beautiful and fun and exotic and I convinced myself that I was in love with her. So when her time was up and she returned to Peru I decided that she was the one and the only thing I could do was to follow her.

There I was, fresh off the airplane in a foreign country where I barely spoke the language and the culture was so incredibly different from the one I was raised in. I was out of my depth, my element, but none of that mattered. I was here for love and nothing else mattered dammit. Once Anna Maria saw me the rest of the details would fall into place. I mean, she’d have to be flattered right? A gringo like me following her all these miles, sorry, kilometers. would break through any doubts she could have. Or so I thought.

The thing is I had blinded myself to reality. Anna Maria did not return my feelings which clearly weren’t love no matter how much I tried to believe it to be true. When I showed up at her house she was shocked but not in a good way. She admitted that while she had fun with me in the States she didn’t have any feelings for me at all. As a matter of fact she had a fiancé that she intended to marry and he was inside the house right then. For my personal safety she advised me to vaminos before he caught wind to my presence.

Heartbroken I retreated to the hostel I had spent the night in and there several fellow travelers helped console me by giving me large and copious amounts of alcohol, not that it was a good thing. I paid for it dearly later both physically and emotionally. When I had left home I had sold my car and pretty much everything else I owned and had left the lease on my house early incurring the loss of my deposit and the wrath of my landlord. She blessed me with many interesting curses as well as threats of a lawsuit. Who could care though? I was leaving the country for good.

None of that stuff mattered. I was in love. Except that I really wasn’t. I just thought I was. Now that my foolishness had been painfully shattered I was at a complete loss about what to do with my life. With my leaving as quickly as I did and not thinking things through I realized that I had no plan for how to make a living or how get things done in this foreign land. Like I said, I barely spoke the damn language. Could I even go back home to the shame and ridicule I would surely be showered with from friends, family and enemies alike?

I’m far too stubborn for that so leaving was not an option. I’d just have to make the best of the situation. Surely there was some way I could earn some money regularly so that I could feed and house myself. It couldn’t be that hard could it? Well, yes it could as it turned out. The next two weeks were a constant struggle for me. The food was like nothing I was used to. Anytime somebody spoke English I latched onto them like a drowning man to a life jacket. In short, I was rather pathetic. At least until I met Carsten, a fellow expat, albeit one from a different country. He was from Denmark but spoke excellent English.

Carsten took pity on me and decided to show me the ropes of Peru. I met him one day in Barranco as I stumbled around trying to find a restaurant I could feel comfortable eating in. Over the next few days we would meet up for lunch and he would inform me about things that were important to see like Pachacamac. We talked of local customs and how not to offend Peruvians through either negligence or accident. Carsten even helped me find a room to rent for an affordable price and then gave me some leads on where I could teach English.

Things were definitely looking up for me though I was heartbroken and overwhelmed. Well, at least they were until the day happened that is. After that nothing was looking up for anybody least of all me. I’d best stop for now. Soon night will fall and though we still have electricity we don’t dare use it. Noise and light will only draw them to us and that is something no survivor wants to happen. I’ll continue when I have a chance. There’s a lot of work to be done during the daylight hours. We have to scavenge food, water, medical supplies and anything else we think can be used. I think it’s necessary to document our days though. Perhaps in the future it could help someone. At least I can dream of that.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Have I Been Missing Out On Peru?

There is an English language website called Living In Peru that I visit so that I can get information about what''s happening in my wife's home country of Peru. Of course it can't encompass everything that is happening there and get it translated to English but they get a lot. It's updated with news pretty much Monday through Friday and I normally visit the page on those days. Now, this isn't for my wife's benefit, it's for mine because I've been able to visit Peru twice and I love it there. Hell, I'd move there tomorrow if I could be debt free here and have the possibility of a job (or jobs) there.

Living In Peru just put up a new article about the top ten must see destinations in Peru that you can read here. As I glanced through it I realized that I have only been to two of their ten destinations. Does this mean I've missed out on something or that I have my work cut out for me the next time I visit? Truthfully this is just someones list and it's arbitrary. It really depends on what you as an individual are interested in because there are tons more places and things to see in Peru than what is on this list.

If you don't want to go read the whole article I'll just list the places with a few comments of my own added:

1. Cusco - To get to Machu Picchu you gotta go to Cusco first, haven't been there but intend to go
2. Islands of Lake Titicaca - Far south in Peru I've heard it's pretty amazing, would love to go
3. Machu Picchu - Most known sight to see in Peru, intend to go
4. The Sacred Valley - Haven't been there at some point would like to go
5. Colca Canyon - Haven't been there, see number 4
6. Iquitos and the Amazon River - Haven't been there but if you want to go for an Ayahuasca medicine trip this is one of the top places and I would like that
7. Puerto Maldonado and the Tambopata River - Haven't been there, don't know much about it
8. Arequipa - City of writers, we almost went there the last time we were in Peru
9. Lima - Spent much time there, tons of things to do and see, love it
10. Paracas Wildlife Reserve - On our trip to Ica we saw the island as well as Huacachina and other things, had a great time

The majority of my time in Peru has been spent in Lima visiting family and friends of my wife. Most  vacationers tend to only use Lima as an overnight rest place before going on to see the more famous places which is their mistake in my opinion. Come on, You don't think that there are things to see and do in a city of ten million people that could keep you occupied for a few days? Get real. It's true that there is a lot of crime and poverty but there's also a lot of culture and pretty cool people. I can't wait to go back.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

I Remember When............................

I started thinking about the time I saw the changing of the guard at the President's Palace in Lima, Peru. There was a big iron fence keeping the public at bay and plenty of heavily armed police around. My wife told me that there were snipers concealed on the roof watching the crowd. My thoughts then morphed into something else, another direction and this was born.

Watching the guard changing
Shiny uniforms flashing color
Pomp and pageantry
Smartly stepping in unity
Heroes like this
Couldn’t do any wrong
Under heavy arms guards stare
Snipers concealed on the roof
What you don’t see
Most definitely can kill you
No sudden movements now
No cries of liberty
Better watch what you say
The company you keep
These are strange days
Citizens can disappear
Like the rights we gave away
In the hope of guaranteed safety
Yeah that thing doesn’t exist
Quality of life marches away
And all we do is sit and say
I remember when…………….

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

A Day At The Beach

Contrary to published reports a great white shark did not beach itself in Atlantic City on August 6th. That was just me taking my shirt off to go swimming. Seriously, I don't tan so much as I burn. I'm a mutt who has German, British, Irish, Scottish and even a little bit of American Indian blood in his ancestry but it's the U.K. parts that come to the fore in my physical appearance. I'm pale, hairy and covered in freckles so you can understand why I tend to stay out of the sun. Getting sunburned is never a pleasant experience but on this occasion it was definitely worth it. Besides, the weather was quite nice and there was lots of cloud cover so it turned out to be rather minor which was a pleasant surprise.

Now I can say I get it. I understand the allure of the beach for those that live or grew up near one. Now I'm talking about a real beach here, not one like I've written about going to before with the family that was created at a lake near here. I'm talking about a proper beach at the ocean. My wife is one of those people, she is from Lima, Peru which has a lot of beaches close by. She's told me stories of walking thirty to forty minutes to get to the beach with her brother and cousins when she was young. I never really understood what would draw you to walk that far, to be in the heat, to get sunburned (okay they didn't get burned), to put up with crowds and bugs and everything else that goes with it. Until now that is.

While on vacation visiting my mother-in-law (amongst other relatives) we took a day trip to go to the beach in Atlantic City. I thought it would be nice for my wife since she hasn't been to a beach to swim since she came to the United States over eleven years ago. That's saying something since like I said, she grew up living very near the beach and used to go all the time, especially when she was young. My own experiences with, as I refer to it, a real beach, were confined to a vacation in North Carolina when I was about ten or eleven years old and one in Spain where I was on leave for a week while I was stationed in Germany in the U.S. Army. For the former I was an undersized, scrawny, easily sunburned (yeah I know I'm beating this point to death) and massively insecure kid and for the latter it was winter and the water was freezing cold so I didn't get to swim. In other words, my exposure to the beach was very limited at best.

We met up with a friend of my mother-in-laws who was in from Peru visiting her sons that live in Atlantic City and once together we set off for the beach. I thought I'd swim for about twenty to thirty minutes, get out and cover up while relaxing before getting back in the water for a bit with my shirt on and my bald head covered. That didn't happen. Instead, something wonderful occurred. As I said, the weather was great, lots of clouds, not a lot of the sun beating down on us. After I got in the water and waded out to chest level I really began to enjoy connecting with the water, determining whether to dive under individual waves or float over them. My son was learning to boogie board and he was having a blast. Later he started following my lead as I taught him everything I had just learned. My wife was also enjoying her time in the ocean water once again. We were getting used to the strong pull of the water as in came in and out, from different angles, over and over and over.

Basically I felt the connection to nature. As much joy as I saw on my son's face as the wave caught him on his board and propelled him forward I know it was showing just as much on my face as I went further out and stopped attempting to battle the waves and instead tried to move with them. Now I understood why people want to live so close to the beach, why they want to spend a lot of time there, why they enjoy learning to boogie board or surf. It's a natural thing to want to spend your time and do things there. Now I get it. The joy I felt was worth the fatigue that came from resisting the tide, it was worth getting bitten by flies, worth the fearful shame I had of people seeing my pale, overweight body without a t-shirt on and absolutely, positively worth the sunburn. Nor did I care that I smelled of the ocean when we went to go eat afterwards. None of that mattered because I felt my family and myself  bond with the sea.

If you think I'm being melodramatic for the sake of the story well, you are wrong. If you don't believe me I don't care, you weren't there. I was. I simply advise you to get yourself to a beach and find out for yourself. Make up your own mind with real life experience. With any luck you'll have a similar experience to mine, something to remember and share with your family. Now I want more, I just have to find a way to make it happen more frequently, something not easy in a landlocked state like Oklahoma. It's doable though, now that I get it.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Air Conditioning Or The Lack Of It

Last Sunday evening my family and I had returned home and as we walked back into the house we immediately knew that something was wrong. Normally we do not have the air conditioning set very low due to my wife's rheumatoid arthritis. Cold air kills her joints and puts her out of commission for a few days until she can recover. Usually the thermostat is kept at seventy-seven degrees which has taken me quite a few years to get used to but I have more or less.

As I said, when we entered the house it was quite apparent that it was hotter than usual, much hotter. I could hear and feel air coming from the vents but a quick check of the thermostat verified that it was eighty-seven degrees in the house. I changed the batteries in the thermostat just in case that was the simple fix but it did nothing. We decided to fold out the bed in the couch for my wife and son and I got the other part of the couch (it's a large wrap-around sectional) and turned on the ceiling fan and two floor fans.

That made it bearable for the night and I texted Tommy to see if he knew anybody that could help us. He gave me a name and a number and luckily the guy was able to come out quickly and he had it fixed in about half an hour. It was a blown capacitor. He gave me some tips on what to do in the future and was on his way. Although it did take some time to bring the temperature back down to normal the effect was noticeable instantly.

It's amazes me that when I was a child we never gave something like air conditioning a second thought. When we visited my grandmother in Kentucky (out in the hollows) she didn't even have a window unit. We never used it in the car either. We just rode with the windows down and I'm sure there were plenty of hot days but it never seemed to register. That's just the way it was and complaining wouldn't help anything.

I haven't had A.C. in my truck since I got it over four years ago and I just deal with it. After all, the summer can only last for so long. But if it's not on in the house then we have a problem. I guess people as a whole are just acclimated to it being there but it wasn't always there. It makes me wonder if that's a good thing or not. On the one hand it's good not to be dependent on things that can go away quite easily. On the other hand though, it just feels so good when you've been outside doing yard work in the hot sun to come inside and cool off.

I guess I just have to deal with the change, it's not like time is going backwards or anything. Although if/when we move to Peru then things will most certainly change because most houses down there don't have A.C. or heating units. It's not standard like it is here and  nobody seems to have a major issue with it. Of course the weather in Lima is much different than here. In their winter the overnight low is only about fifty degrees and in the summer the high is around the mid eighties. Nothing that a portable heater or a fan won't fix. That's a good thing how I see it. Until then though, I'll just have to deal with the conditions here. Until they change again that is.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

It's Storming Outside

I was sitting at my desk in the bowels of the hospital tonight when the lights started dimming. Suddenly the power flicked off and came back on. As I attempted to restart my computer I could hear the fire doors in the hallway closing themselves over and over. That was my indicator that there was a major storm brewing outside. Then came the call from my wife informing me of how bad it was outside as she implored me to wait until it blew over before coming home. I assured her I would and then clocked out and stepped outside to assess the situation for myself.

It was bad, really bad. From the entrance of the parking garage to where I was standing was at least one hundred and fifty feet but I could clearly see the wind fiercely blowing rain a good forty feet inside. That was enough to make the decision for me. I pulled my truck around to where I could observe what was happening and so here I sit waiting for it to die down enough for me to drive home.

Nature is funny that way. A storm can brew up seemingly from out of nowhere and catch you unawares if you let it. Here in Oklahoma we suffer from tornadoes and severe thunder storms. In Lima, Peru where I just spent three weeks they have earthquakes (as well as regular power and water outages). I'm sure wherever you are Mother Nature does something potentially nasty or at least bothersome. It's the way things are in life. You just have to learn to ride it out as best you can and wait for your chance to get to safer ground. I think it's time for me to try it now.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

On The Road To Peru Without Sleep

Today finds me sitting in the airport awaiting the first leg of my flight that will ultimately land me in Lima, Peru. Actually the first leg of my journey is already over. I drove a rental car from Tulsa to Dallas because it was supposed to be cheaper than flying. Notice I said supposed to. It ended up not being the case after Dollar ripped me off. My contract says it was $70 (and some change) but after I dropped it off I was informed that it is really $205 dollars. I'm not just going to take it though, I will resist this bold attempt at thievery.

When I finally got to the terminal after dropping off the overpriced rental car I found that my bag to be checked in was over the weight limit so I had to pay an extra $50 to cover it. Maybe if my wife hadn't given me that list of things that she had to have I would have been okay but probably not. I'm sure I would have used the extra space for more clothes or books or something.

So now I'm waiting for my flight to Atlanta which precedes the flight to Fort Lauderdale before finally flying to Lima. I had about an hours nap before making my extremely overpriced drive to Dallas and none since I got here. It's raining heavily so we'll see if that ends up having some kind of impact on the situation. Did I mention that the replacement battery I acquired for my laptop crapped out on me 2 days ago? Yeah, It's been that kind of weekend for me.

I don't care about any of this. I am going on vacation, a long overdue one I might add, and I can't wait to see my family. I fully expect to see more of Peru than I did five years ago and to accept more challenges ( with food and otherwise. It can be a wonderful place with many incredible experiences if you're willing to search for them. I finally am.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

A Temprary Bachelor

As a youth I was closest to my paternal grandparents. Still, I never really got used to an extended family and didn't feel much of a connection to either side of my family other than a few individuals for the most part. I was always the quiet kid, alone with my thoughts, rarely trusting anyone enough to share with them who I was or what I felt about anything. I grew up used to living with just a handful of people in the same apartment and even with them feeling as if nobody really knew me or even wanted to.

My wife's experience growing up was while not the same did share some similarities as far as her parents not being around a lot. As such she and her brother Gary were left to fend for themselves at times. Still, most of her life was lived in a big house with a lot of family under the same roof. There were always aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents to live in and around. As such it must have seemed like there was always something going on or somebody to do it with. My son appears to be enjoying his time with his extended family along with the extra attention I'm sure.

His three year old cousin that lives close to Memphis was also able to go to Peru and spend time with the family. I remember when she and her mother came to visit with us for Christmas and it was only the second time she had seen us. She didn't really remember us because the first time she had just turned one year old. Shortly after getting here she started to ask my wife and myself "Are you my family?" It was adorable to hear but to me it seemed as if having a larger family was something she was craving.

Hearing my son talk on the phone over all these miles makes me think that perhaps he feels the same way. He doesn't just want more family, he needs them. Maybe I'm only fooling myself with selectively remembering my past the way I do. Did I really crave a larger family or at least more contact with the ones I had who accepted the geeky, awkward loner that I was (and in some ways still am)? It's hard to say with hindsight being the way it is. I'd like to find a way that would allow my son to have it all without sacrificing anything. Of course life rarely turns out to be that easy now does it? Still, if I could find a way.............

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

notmovingpictures Episode 9: Don Goes Solo Again And Rants

True to form it’s been several days since I uploaded the latest edition of the notmovingpictures podcast and I’m just now getting around to writing about it here. What can I say? Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you would like them to. In episode 9 I went solo again since Tommy had shoulder surgery and there were things on my mind I just couldn’t wait to get out. The one thing that propelled me forward to do the show immediately was when I went to pick my son up from school. The parking lot has an entrance and then you have to go in a U shape to get to the exit. A truck was partially blocking the exit and an SUV was sitting in the street blowing it’s horn repeatedly. This lady roars in through the exit and then has the nerve to yell at the driver of the truck about how it’s not a parking spot. I couldn’t hold my tongue at this point so I yelled out that it was an exit not an entrance. It took several times before I swear she looked over but I don’t think she could tell where it had come from.

For some reason I got wound up over this. Some people are just pure idiots who think the world revolves around them and although they don’t have to follow the rules everybody else does, especially when it makes their life inconvenient. Idiots. I also talked about jury duty and how I believe the people who try and get out of it without a valid reason are part of them problem with this country. Their mentality kind of mirrors that of the lady driving the SUV. I also delved into the controversy over the Muslim unrest of the horribly done anti-Muslim movie. I’m not going to say the name of it because that would only give the makers of that piece of garbage even more attention. Really if you’re a Muslim you shouldn’t be upset over it because of how laughable it is. The production on it is so bad you might as well say there was none.

Lastly I talked about how two Russian scientists who are self described UFO experts have predicted that a cataclysmic earthquake the like of which has never been experienced in our recorded time would hit Lima, Peru yesterday. It would be the so strong that it was felt in parts of the United States and would be the first in a series of three that would ravage the world. Many Peruvians were feeling anxiety over this news. Once again it was much ado about nothing. There was no earthquake which is no surprise. The thing that should have alerted everybody that this was so preposterous was that they stated they gained their knowledge from decoding information left in places like Machu Picchu by aliens thousands of years ago. It seems that false prophets are everywhere these days. That wraps it up. If you feel the need go to www.notmovingpictures.podomatic.com and check out this or any of the other episodes. If you do let me know what you think, so feedback would be nice. Until next time, take it easy and don’t sweat the stuff idiots say. Life goes much better that way.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

The Summer Heat Burns My Soul

The other day I did something completely out of character for myself. I took off my shirt while outside. Now it was in my back yard, however I did stay topless as I pushed my lawnmower around to the front of the house and in the garage. What’s the big deal you say? People take their shirts off all the time so what’s my problem? To start let me paint you a picture of what I look like. I’m 6’1” tall and go about 240 pounds on my leaner days. I am light skinned (my Irish, Scottish and English bloodlines win out over everything else for me), have freckles and am hairy. Add to that a lifelong image issue with my body (Americans seems to have this problem more than others) and there you have my reluctance to be seen shirtless even if it’s in my own yard. At least my body issues aren’t as bad as Kevin Smith’s who suffers from a much larger (pun intended) problem than I do. Please note this isn’t a dig on Smith at all, I terribly admire what he has accomplished in life and he has inspired me to start my own creative endeavors at long last. He has stated before that he doesn’t like taking off his shirt at the doctor’s office or even in front of his wife. At least I'm not that bad.

Basically what has led to this change in behavior is that my wife wants us to take a vacation to the beach but the only time available between our schedules and before our son goes back to school is towards the end of July. The closest beach for us to do this is in Galveston, Tx, about a nine hour drive away. So given my natural pale state plopping me into Galveston in late July means I will literally be red, sunburned to a crisp, unless I slaver zinc oxide on and wear long sleeved shirts and pants with a floppy sun hat at all times. Of course that endangers me to overheating myself on the beach and constantly sweating throughout the day so neither of those appear to be ideal working situations. My only other option now seems for me to go into the yard doing whatever work I can without wearing a shirt for about 30 minutes a day. Currently in Tulsa we are having 100 Plus degrees of weather and so far this week each and every day has been an Ozone Alert Day so I have to be very careful that I don’t overdo it. Today I even went over to a friend’s house and sat shirtless while our kids were in the pool. Very abnormal behavior for me but I do seem to be going through some life changes all for the better in the last year.

Perhaps by the time our vacation starts I will have been so sufficiently exposed to the sun that I won’t have many issues as long as I’m smart about what I’m doing. My wife won’t have any troubles at all. She is from Lima, Peru and has darker skin than I do. Thankfully our son is a mix of the two of us and while he’s not very dark skinned he’s not pale like his dear old dad and the more he gets outside the more tanned he seems to get. Being from Lima, my wife grew up going to the beach all through the summer but hasn’t been to one since she visited Atlantic City in the fall of 2002 when she was a freshly arrived vacationer to these shores. She ended up staying in the country but moved to Tulsa the following year where we met. Ten years is long enough and although it will be stretch financially and given my natural aversion to the sun, I’m willing to do it for the sake of our family. A family vacation has been long overdue and besides, I could stand having another go at some crawfish or alligator. That's one of the other changes I’ve undergone in the past year or so, I’m trying and enjoying food that I never would have touched in the past. Let’s just hope I make it back from all of this in one piece without too much burning.
 
Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

41 Seconds To Freedom: An Insiders Account of the Lima Hostage Crisis, 1996-97

"On December 17, 1996 members of the Peruvian guerrilla group, the Túpack Amaru Revolutionary Movement (MRTA), attacked the residence of the Japanese ambassador to Peru during his birthday party, taking hostage hundreds of guests, including Luis Giampietri, a former field commander of special operations forces that had fought the MRTA. From within the residence, Giampietri played a role in the eventual resolution of the crisis by using his pager to help state commandos locate the guerrillas inside the residence. Here is his memoir of the 126-day siege, written with the assistance of a former US Navy Seal and a Peruvian journalist."

My wife is from Peru and I never tire of finding books to read that will give me a small bit of insight into her culture and her country. I found this one at my local library and was very interested to find out just what had occurred over a decade ago when the MRTA had taken something like 600 hostages in a move to have 400 of their comrades released from prison (as well as having a hefty sum of money paid to them). This book flows well and is a pretty fast read. Of course it has a very pro-government approach to it as Mr Giampietri was in charge of Peruvian Special Ops forces and is a retired admiral. Some of the things mentioned in the book are subjective to whatever your point of view is however at the end of the book he gives an indication of just how disappointed he was in Fujimori's administration and how that led him to become the 1st Vice President under Alan Garcia. It's a very interesting subject and a good book to give out the kind of information you'd never hear about from news sources. Pick it up and give a read, I enjoyed it.

Trailer for La Teta Asustada (Milk of Sorrow)

My wife is from Peru and as a result I try to find Spanish language movies for her to enjoy. I myself do not speak much of the Spanish language although it is something I plan on changing in the near future. So imagine my surprise when I find a movie that is not only written by a Peruvian, stars a Peruvian, was made in Peru and was nominated for an Oscar for best foreign film, that I excitedly tell her the premise and she says she doesn't like it (without watching the trailer) because it seems that the main character would be living such a horrible life. When she says things like this, without giving the movie at least even a casual glance it can really deflate me and make me wonder why I bother even trying. I mean, what is the point if whatever I spend time investigating in an attempt to make her happy, to show something of her country especially on a grand stage, is rejected so easily without much thought or interest?

But then as I think about it deeper (something I'm good at) I realize that the point is that I tried, whether she likes what I've done or even appreciates it should not be my goal. I love her with all of my heart and even after almost 5 years of marriage the fact is that there are things about each other we never will understand. There are things we do not know and are just starting to figure out. After all, we come from 2 different cultures, speak 2 different languages
and have had different things happen to us in our lives. Whenever something like this happens I need to get over my initial feelings of disappointment and remember that it's not about me. As long as we are growing and learning and loving we will be fine. We don't need to have everything in common or think the same way about everything. Our differences are what makes it so wonderful. It's what makes it so worthwhile. It's why we keep on fighting for this marriage because make no mistake, marriage will always have it's struggles and rough patches broken up by periods of tranquility. The trick is learning to make those tranquil peroids last longer each time.



By the way, much like my effort La Teta Asustada did not win the Oscar. It instead went to a movie from Argentina. But at least they can say it was there and had a chance which is a lot more than many other films can say. Congratulations to director Claudia Llosa and star Magaly Solier. I will certainly be looking for it on dvd and who knows, I may just slip it in the dvd player without my wife knowing what it is and tricking her into giving it a fair chance.