notmovingpictures Episode 107: The Less Stress The Better

A new episode is up, as usual Podomatic doesn't play nice so I can't get the player to imbed. Follow the link if you want to listen.

Solo talking about my new position at a different work site, which has resulted in less stress and anxiety, the latest music that I've bought and some zines I'm working on. So.......the usual stuff.

Closing music: Palm Ghosts - Wide Awake And Waiting

Email: notmovingpictures@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @notmovingpics

Blog: www.notmovingpictures.blogspot.com

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

First Time In, From A Poetry Workshop

My wife takes classes at Tulsa Community College and one day she brought home a flier for some "I Can't" workshops scheduled for March and April. They cover a variety of subjects such as screen printing, swing dancing and more. The workshops are free to students and the public so I attended the "I Can't Write Poetry" class this past Monday. Even though I already write poetry or spoken word or lyrics or whatever you want to call it I thought I'd give it a go. Maybe I could learn a new way to look at things. The instructor did just that for me. He told us to think of something that had a lot of concrete, sensory details which led to what's written below. I didn't do everything he said but still, it was interesting. Last night I was finally able to type it up and edit it, I must say though I'm sure it will change even more over time. How far in can you get before you know what I'm talking about?


first time in

on the edge
a violent maelstrom
swirling evolving
the one constant is change
i've never been inside
always stayed where it was safe
it surges and roils
bodies spit out
they pick themselves up
then dive back in
the band is blasting
in my face
over my head
off the walls
the energy reaches inside
it seizes my soul
prodding me
pushing me
drop your fears and worthless worries
accept the challenge
sweat pours freely soaking my skin
hesitation kills momentum
a small push from behind
suddenly i'm inside
no longer thinking
just reacting
arms come up
legs kick out
bodies jerk and spin
fists meet faces
knees to bodies
blood spills here and there
nothing intended all accepted
no pattern to the madness
a release of pent up anger
of aggression and stress
finally on the last note
the crowd is spent
nothing left to do
go back and replenish
we stagger arm in arm
laughing at the memory
i've done it
we've done it
the pit is now closed
Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Roadie For The Night

Last Saturday night I was lucky enough to roadie for my friends in the band Alloy. They haven't played out in a while so it was good for them to get out there and just do it. Unfortunately not a lot of people showed up. It was a strange night at the Venue Shrine They had been informed that there were to be three or four bands playing but it turned out that Alloy was the only one, followed by a Latin dance birthday party and then a jam session. Very odd combination indeed.

By the time Alloy finished playing there were more people there but they were mostly for the Latin party. It was a surreal image to see this rock band with a few fans in attendance and about twenty people dressed up (and not actually dancing I might add) and then the folks who were showing up for the jam session all occupying the same space.

The best part for me was just hanging out before and after with the guys (along with Tom's son Chris) and ripping on each other. Whenever we get together the jokes fly and pretty much nothing is sacred. It's what you'd call a good old fashioned sausage hang and it reminds me so much of my college days. Turned out to be a good relaxing night and a great stress releaver which was sorely needed.

More times like these are needed and less of the things that bring me stress but there's not much I can do about that. Gotta make the money to pay for everyday life, right? Sadly that is true.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Where's My Spring Break?

This is shaping up to be one of those days, weeks, years for me. Spring Break has started and all of the kids are out of school for one week. That’s right, they get to enjoy a week of no school. Even if they don’t get to do as much as they want they still don’t have the stress of getting up early and slogging their way through school for a whole week. That’s a good thing. Since it is such a good thing then I have one question. Why don’t adults get this benefit?

Think about it. Who needs the time off more? Kids who got time off in the fall AND about three whole months in the summer or adults who get time off when they can get it approved from their boss? That’s provided of course that they can afford to take time off and actually do something relaxing. What’s the point in taking time off from work only to have your wife decide that since you’re home then you’re available to get all of those chores done that she’s been saving for you? That is not a vacation, believe me I know. Often it’s equal to if not an increase in your stress level.

This phenomenon of adults getting time off actually does occur in some countries. Many European countries not only give you the paid time off but they also have paid holidays. Some even basically shut down so that everyone can take time off from work. One of my previous employers gave us Federal holidays off with pay and if it was your holiday to work you also got a paid day off during the week. I loved that about them. My present employer offers no such thing. Instead sick days, vacation days and holidays are all lumped together and you accrue a certain amount each pay period. The amount you accrue actually is very close between those two companies.

Of course it was even better when I was in the Army. You accrued thirty leave or vacation days a year. All Federal holidays you were off and if they holiday fell on a Thursday or Tuesday the weekday after or before became what is known as a training holiday. Unless of course you had a duty assignment you had to pull. Think of it, every Thanksgiving you had a four day weekend that didn’t affect your vacation time. Theoretically you weren’t supposed to go very far from your duty station so you wouldn’t have any problems reporting back to your next scheduled day of work. That theory of course didn’t stop anyone from doing so. It was a great way to save up vacation time and then cash it in when you get out of the service (like I did).

Unfortunately most of us adults in the U.S. get left out in the cold when it comes to getting break time from work. The mentality here is to work, work, work and then work some more so that you can save up to go on vacation. Unfortunately most people never actually get to take that vacation. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve taken a real vacation while I’ve been with my present employer. I’m sure I could find a bunch of studies that would show how important it is for workers to take time off and get rid of their stress by taking a break but I’m too busy to do that right now. I’ll just look forward to the vacation I will (hopefully) be taking this summer. Three weeks off and you won’t be able to reach me by phone. Sounds like heaven to me.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

The Road To Rush

At last the day has come for a road trip, Tommy (my brother from other parents) and his son Chris brought me along with them once again to see Rush. The idea we have is to go someplace we've never seen before and it was decided that we would travel to San Antonio, Texas. After about eight hours on the road (and a traffic jam in Austin) we arrived at our hotel and promptly went down to the Riverwalk to do the tourist thing. I had some Huevos Rancheros which I've never had before and more things are lined up for tomorrow. The best thing of course is seeing Rush, for me it will be my eighth time.

I think that every so often it's good to get away from things and relax, whether by yourself or with close friends, whichever works best for you. Tommy and I intend to work on some lyrics while we are here and hopefully the trip will jumpstart us creatively.  We'll try and poke around the town in the short time we have. Below are pictures of my dinner and the view from our room. Look for a special new episode of Ten For Tuesday of all Rush tomorrow and new notmovingpictures will be coming soon as well.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Is There Light At The End Of The Tunnel?

I'm sitting in the surgery waiting room at the moment waiting to hear what room my wife will be taken to. She's in recovery after undergoing knee replacement surgery on her right knee. You might ask yourself how old is she since most people undergoing this surgery tend to be older. She's only forty but her right knee was the knee of an eighty year old. Rheumatoid arthritis has attacked her and left her with no cartilage at all in her knee. It kept getting worse and worse until she was left with no choice but to get it replaced. Luckily the doctor said everything went well and she should be pleased once she recovers. Apparently the knee was in rather nasty condition.

After she gets out of the hospital in a few days we'll settle into her rehab routine and wait for the results. At the least she will finally have some mobility back and will be able to walk without her crutches. No more will she feel trapped by her pain. Of course this does not mean she'll be able to go out and run a marathon. She still has to deal with her arthritis as it affects her other joints but at least she won't have the pain she's been dealing with for so long in her right knee. Hopefully soon she'll be able to return to work. It's been an ordeal, a little over a year ago she had a cyst descend into her left calf and it had to be operated on to remove it as well as repair a partial tear of her meniscus. These situations have been a drain not only on our finances but our lives as well.

For the past few months my routine has been to get off of work at midnight, come home and do a few chores, relax and get into bed about 2am. Then I get up at 7am and get our son ready for school. After returning home I would attend to my wife and then try to lay down for about 2 more hours of sleep. Then I would get up, put dry dishes away, wash more dishes, cook or assist her with cooking, wash more dishes, perhaps do some more chores and then take a shower and get dressed for work. Then I would pick our son up from school, bring him home and go to work. Some days I didn't even get to return to the bed for more sleep, it was just go and take care of things that couldn't be put off anymore.

My mother in law flew into town yesterday to assist us with our son and my wife in her recovery and will be with us for the next month. I'm very grateful for her coming, we get along well and it gives her a chance to see her grandson, which she doesn't get to do often. Plus she's a good cook so I know I'll be eating well. However that also means I need to be careful that I don't gain back the weight that I've lost recently. My goal now is to try to pick up some extra shifts at work or to get a part time job so that we can pay off some of our debts and get caught up on a few things that are behind. Honestly I'll be happy with just returning to some kind of normalcy in our lives. And some sleep, definitely some sleep. Wish us luck as we hope to finally be moving forward.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Why Can't Don Write Anymore?

If you are one of the few people out there that reads this blog you will have noticed that lately my productivity has declined. It's not that I don't have any ideas, quite the opposite there, it just seems as if I've lost my urge to write. There no longer seems to be the push that I had before to make it happen. I've been giving a great deal of thought as to why this has happened. In September and October I was seemingly on fire with stories and song lyrics and then the effort to follow through and bring them to life literally dried up overnight.

Time of course is always a culprit when you have a young child and are the only person working in the family. Stress can also be a problem although I've found that sometimes it can be a veritable goldmine for making me think on a deeper scale. Once I'm thinking I will inevitably find an idea to focus on and then develop. The one thing that I could identify that was different was that in September I started taking a nootropic supplement called AlphaBrain from Onnit Labs. I had heard about it on Joe Rogan's podcast. AlphaBrain is a cognitive enhancer made from natural ingredients and is designed to sharpen your focus and increase creative abilities as well as memory and can even help you with lucid dreaming. I never noticed a sharp increase or surge but rather it seemed to be a slow building one. I was intrigued enough to buy a second bottle and that's when it was clear that not only was I was writing a lot more but I was also having ideas constantly appear. I've always had those ideas but now I was following through on them and bringing them to life.

I even had one story come to me in a half-dream state and it ended up almost completely finished in my mind before I even woke up. Everybody dreams but perhaps because of my severe sleep apnea (untreated at the moment) I never have been able to remember mine. If I was to recall even a small bit of a dream, upon waking it would fade away and within a few hours not even a wisp of the dreams content remained. With AlphaBrain however that was changing. I was starting to remember what I dreamed about. Not every day mind you but it was becoming more and more frequent.

Then came November. Unfortunately my financial situation changed for the worse and I couldn't realistically justify spending the money for this supplement, no matter how much I was convinced that it was helping me. When you are worried about being able to make your house payment or getting your utilities paid on time you have to cut whatever you can, big or small. Dish Network had been sacrificed long ago. Thankfully we never put a lot of things on credit cards so there was no big bill there. We changed our cellphone plans to spend less. Since we need the internet for various reasons it was AlphaBrain that got cut as well as some other less costly things. Eliminating smaller things added up along with some help from our church with groceries so for the moment we are okay. However my wife now has knee surgery coming up so we have to wait for her recovery from that and then perhaps we'll see an improvement in our finances.

Once I was off AlphaBrain there was a pretty immediate change in my output. While I still had ideas I just couldn't seem to follow through with them. My blog posts decreased rapidly and by December I only made three of them for the entire month. January was even worse. Additionally I also had basically stopped working out. There just wasn't a passion anymore, no fire burning in me to do much of anything. I'm sure part of it could be reasoned away by the changing of the season. After all, the onset of the colder months can do strange things to the brain as well as the human body. Still, it seems clear to me that it's more than that, AlphaBrain had an overwhelmingly positive effect on me and now I am missing it.

At the end of January I realized that I had gotten a check from my older sister as a Christmas and a late birthday present combined and had forgotten to cash it. At the same time I received an email from Onnit that was about a special offer for an eighteen percent discount so I decided to jump on it while I could. I made my order with the thought that I'll worry about getting more once it runs out, that is if I continue with my previous production. Today was my first day resuming AlphaBrain but I won't count the first two posts I've made in this month as both were almost completely written within the last week or so.

Some people may say something such as AlphaBrain doesn't really work and some may say that it does. Personally I'm the kind of person who likes to experience things for myself instead of listening to what others have to say. Do what I did, research nootropics, go to Onnit Labs website and look at the ingredients and research them then make a decision for yourself. Whether you do or don't please keep coming back to see if my "experiment" will show another increase in output or if it sputters into abject failure. I already know which way it's going to go but I'll wait for the proof.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

A New Year To Work On Patience (Amongst Other Things)

It's a new year today and while some good things happened in the last year some not so good things happened as well. Hopefully this year we can have more of the former and less of the latter. There are many things I want to improve on in this coming year. Patience is one of those. In certain areas I have a great deal of patience but in others it disappears quickly. My personality is one that I tend to hold things inside until I no longer can and they explode from me. Christmas day was an example of that. Whatever issues I had were smoldering inside me and I ended up yelling at my son after he intentionally dumped food on himself in an effort to make us feed him instead of using his fork himself. I regretted losing my temper immediately but it was too late. The damage was done.

This led to my wife sending him to his room but the tension between us was clearly there, waiting to be released. Later my wife made the unfortunate decision to move the chili I was cooking to a different burner and as I carried on about it she in turn blew up and the world as we knew it was over. But seriously, when someone is cooking something like chili you don't come along and mess with it, it's just not done. After much time spent in torment we eventually got ourselves together in a sort of detente and welcomed our guests and relaxed for the evening. Of course it all blew over eventually and we were okay although I believe it really would help to talk with a counselor, at the very least it couldn't hurt. Unfortunately none of us are given a blueprint for a happy marriage in advance and we have to learn as we go.

If I have learned one thing in my six plus years of marriage, it is how my wife reacts to stress, especially whenever we are going to have people over. Which is poorly. She wants the house to be perfect and in my opinion it doesn't matter. If you have people over who are really your friends they don't care what the house looks like. That's not why they are there. If the event they are there to comment on the condition of my house then I really don't want to be around that type of person. Besides after they and their kids leave the house is usually trashed anyway. Now the way my wife approaches me when she is stressed out, well if you can imagine hammering a nail into a piece of wood and once it's flush, all the way in, instead of stopping she keeps hammering away even though nothing more can be gained except maybe damaging the wood, the nail or even the hammer. I can only take it for a period of time before, you guessed it, I start speaking my mind. Armed with that knowledge you would think that I'd be able to identify these situations and head them off before they go too far but no, that doesn't normally happen. So this is an area related to patience that I need to improve in.

A few weeks back I had to drive her to Oklahoma City so that she could take her citizenship test (she passed) and just a few blocks from the house I pulled out in front of a car. It looked to me like he was in the other lane but alas it wasn't, he was in my lane and I reacted just how I do not like other people to react in these kinds of situations. Poorly. For the next twenty to thirty minutes she was constantly telling me to slow down, that there was a car ahead, we were going to wreck and so forth. Even though I knew I was risking her getting too upset to do well on her test (and naturally blaming me for failing) I finally told her that she needed to concentrate on her material and I would concentrate on the driving and to just leave me alone. It worked out fine although afterwards we did end up getting food poisoning so I don't know if that was some kind of penance or something.

Well the whole point of this piece is that I know what shortcomings I have and I understand what kind of personal growth needs to happen. Hopefully she does as well, not just for me solely. A lot of good things have happened in our marriage (first and foremost our son) and we've both changed over the years mostly for the better. As long as we can keep learning and adapting as individuals and as a couple I believe we'll be okay. That's all I can hope for. That and that she doesn't touch my chili again.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

A Nice, Easy Going Day For Once

Last Saturday turned out to be a pretty good day for me. First, a friend from another ward at church asked me if I wanted to help take the Boy Scouts to the Marshall University vs Tulsa University football game. Since I had lived in Huntington and volunteered at Marshall’s radio station (WMUL) I of course said yes. It turned out that the tickets were free for us and I only had to forego a little sleep because the game was at 11 AM. We ended up having more adults than scouts. I showed up wearing my Marshall t-shirt and my Tulsa hat but ended up keeping the shirt covered by my zip up hoodie due to (a) the extremely windy and cool conditions and (b) the fact that Marshall got the snot beat out of them. It was if they didn’t practice or even watch any game film. Still, it was the first time I’ve been to a football game in four or five years and it was nice to get out with friends.

We ended up leaving the game a little early, which normally I loathe to do, but it was clear that Marshall had no chance to come back and win and it was rather cool in the wind so I agreed. After I got home I took a short nap until my wife and son got home and they ended up falling asleep so I got on the computer with my headphones and watched the UFC preliminary fights on Facebook. It was the first time I have ever done this and it wasn’t a bad experience. During the breaks between fights I would do something else until the next fight started. Then it was time for the main event, the heavyweight title fight between the champion Cain Velasquez and the challenger Junior Dos Santos. This looked to be an exciting fight and was tabbed to be the only one shown on the inaugural UFC show live on Fox. In order to explain the sport to those who had never seen it before (this was the first time MMA was ever shown on free television in the U.S.) there was a lot of footage showing who the fighters are and where they came from. The diehard fans (like me) would of course preferred that they had shown more fights but hey, it was free so I won’t complain (too much).

Unfortunately I had run out of time. My brother Tommy and his son Chris came to pick me up and we went downtown to Joe Mammas Pizza. A band led by Tommy’s co-worker was playing and he wanted to go and show some support. Although the music style wasn’t what any of us would regularly listen to it was nice to go hang out, listen to live music, eat some pizza and soak up the atmosphere. As we get older things like this just don’t seem to happen enough which speaks loudly about how convoluted our lives have become. We spoke with Tommy’s co-worker between sets and stayed for a little while longer before calling it a night. I made it home while my wife and son were still awake and we spent some time together too. All in all it was a nice day. Not too hectic but not too slow paced either. I had no deadlines to meet or someplace that I had to speed to get to. It showed me how important it is to periodically get away from it all, relieve the stress and relax. Trust me, the way things have been going lately that is something that I sorely need. The trick now is to make it happen more frequently. By the way, Dos Santos beat Velasquez by technical knockout in one minute and four seconds. Just wished I could have stayed home a few minutes longer and seen it.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Blood From A Stone

Things have been rough lately in our household. There's a lot of uncertainty mixed with a fair amount of stress and pain on all fronts. So it was with a great deal of relief when my brother (from other parents) Tommy came over to work on some song lyrics. Of course first I was able to talk with him and sound off on the various things that were on my mind and gnawing at my stomach. As always not only did he listen but he also had some sound advice for me. Sometimes it's good to just talk with a person whose opinion you trust. After that we tried to start on a particular set of lyrics that had been our plan to be the next new song but instead a different idea pushed it's way to the forefront. I had written a single verse only eight lines long while at work and it was clear to both of us that it was the one we needed to concentrate on. Here's the original verse that I wrote:

Feel the noose lightly tighten ever so slightly
Slowly so slowly until it seems normal
Nothings out of place it’s all chased
It’s when your memory turns bright to dull
Who is this person I don’t remember
Staring at me through the looking glass
This is not my house nor my home
Painfully familiar yet hard to grasp

It can be hard giving up some of the words that I wrote originally but as we worked on it we tried to keep the core idea there and flesh it out. As we worked and bounced ideas off of each other we were able to make the words fit and sharpen it all to present a clearer picture of what was on my mind. It amazed me how we had taken those first eight lines and in just two short hours had evolved them into a complete song. Minus the music that is. That will come later from the rest of the band although Tommy already has an idea from an older unused music track that just might work. It feels really good to create something like this and it's surprising how much better I feel from it. Now if I can just keep this feeling going and build on it. Here's the final (for now) lyrics, make of them what you will:

Blood from A Stone

The noose tightens ever so lightly
A dulled perspective so hard to grasp
All I’ve chased seems out of place
Self desolation has come to pass
Familiar faults slowly breed a pattern
Who is this person I can’t comprehend
Every start seems to deaden my heart
With deception as the means to an end

Waves of restlessness surge
Igniting a sweat that burns
Perceptions always the same
Blood from a stone leaves it’s stain

chorus:
Now run the gauntlet Run the gauntlet
Run the gauntlet again

Currents flow ever discretely
A scandal burns at both ends
Motives consumed I must resume
Feigning interest, I just can’t pretend
From a place I’ve never controlled
Sinister winds rage against me
To reveal all the flaws I conceal
Is a mistake in identity

Repeat Bridge and Chorus

All words by Don Leach and Tommy Terneus and may not be used without permission.

Published by Don Leach

They Say That Love Is Pain....

While on my way to church today I was listening to a song by The Slackers called "You Don't Know I" and part of a lyric got me thinking. The song says "they say that love is pain" and as I sat in church I started to think about it. It's true that love can be painful when it is not returned or when it was there but no longer is. It can even be painful when one is with the wrong person. But perhaps we need to also look at how we define love. Instead of merely seeing it as between two people we should realize that we love our families, our friends and those that are in our church, albeit in different ways.

When viewed that way the lyric can take upon itself a different point of view. Within a family love can be painful when a member of the family falls away because they have found something else to occupy their life and it consumes them. My younger sister has had a battle for most of her adult life with drugs even though she would only admit it on rare occasions. She ended up with drugs being more important to her than her own daughters whom she was not there for and let others raise. There is much pain there. My nieces love their mother on one level however they also know on another level that she cannot be trusted to tell the truth about anything or even show up clean for important events in their lives. They have suffered with the idea that their mother was not there for them no matter what they did to try and let her know that they needed her, no matter how much they loved her.

I won't even pretend to act like I know why my sister is this way because I have no idea. The three of us (there is also an older sister) went through the same things however they impacted us all in different ways. For myself I became very introverted and had no belief or faith in myself, no self confidence and thought that I wasn't good enough for other people to even like. Whatever she has felt she chose to try and fill what was empty with drugs and that never will work for very long. It's a short term solution to a long term problem. Amazingly she has never hit rock bottom, never sunken low enough to try and make something of her life or to be a part of her children's life. Perhaps she never will.

She has her own pain to deal with and this is the manner she has chosen. I think we all do this in different ways. If you are unhappy because you work a horrible job that is intentionally putting out products that you know will harm people in the long run or you are stealing money from clients then no matter how much you act like it doesn't bother you it does, somewhere deep down below and that knowledge manifests itself in varied ways. Addiction is the usual path but people can be addicted to so many things. We often think of addiction as only to drugs, alcohol (okay it is a drug too), porn, sex and things like that but there is also addiction to eating, to living life on the edge or to religion. You can be addicted to anything, even so called good things.


Anything can be taken to an extreme when you are unfulfilled, living a life that you don't want to live, being a person that you don't want to be. Kurt Cobain blew out his brains when his band Nirvana got too big too fast when he simply could have backed off, stopped all of the interviews to people he couldn't respect or didn't want to know. He could have stopped all of the massive touring and the major label nonsense and just made music for himself. Sure he would have made a lot less money but somehow I think that money wasn't all that important to him given how he chose to end it all. I don't know if it would have made him any happier but he couldn't do that.

Love can be wonderful, full of happiness and good times but unfortunately it can also be pain and that can change from one person to another in how it is felt and dealt with. The trick is learning how to accept the pain and grow from it and understand that it is a natural and normal part of life. Just try not to let it happen too much. Other than that try the advice of Joe Rogan and surround yourself with cool people and get all of the fake losers out of your life. You'll be amazed at how much stress and garbage leave your life. It's worth a try.




Published by Don Leach

Sometimes You Need A Change Of Pace

This past Sunday my wife and I took our son with us to visit an elderly couple from our church that we hadn't seen for some time. They go to a different ward than we do now so we don't get to see them that often. They're at least in their later 80s if not older and recently welcomed a great, great grandchild to their family. My wife stayed with them for a few months when she first moved to Tulsa and she likes to check on them from time to time but as of late we weren't very lucky in trying to catch them at home.

Both my wife and I have been feeling stressed out and out of sorts so it was nice to sit with them and catch up. They have three small dogs and one of them named Tarapoto came to me and laid on me almost the entire time we were there. There's something about me that most cats and dogs pick up on and usually are drawn to. They can sense that I will hold and pet them basically as long as they like. Well Tarapoto stayed with me and I gave him attention almost nonstop and he was in heaven. It made for a very relaxing, tranquil time for me and according to my wife it recharged her batteries. She commented that the spirit is very strong in their house and I agree with her.

At a time when so many things are pulling us in different directions something like this visit helped to center us and bring us back to where we should be. It's difficult with the two of us working different shifts, taking care of our son with no family in the area and trying to progress as people and as a family. It's easy to fall into bad habits and not take the time to communicate with each other but so much harder to put in the work that a relationship requires.

I'm glad we were able to learn a valuable lesson and slow down our pace, visit people who we care about and who care about us and just relax. We need to do more of it more often. That's the trick of course, making the time to do what's really needed instead of spending it how we think it's needed. Hopefully we'll take this lesson to heart.