Poetry From A Non Poet # 2

Love is a suitable form of suicide

Leaving lies the only children born

Dive under the memories look in the mirror

Before everything fades to black

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Answering The Call

Right. So I came home last night and as I wound down by surfing the internet (this is pretty much standard operating procedure for me) I somehow linked over to an interview that had been done with Michael Been, the singer/bassist for the band The Call. The interviewer was talking about how with Been's music you were left wondering if his lyrics were about God, a woman or the dichotomy that existed with wanting both in your life. I felt inspired and didn't even finish reading the interview. Instead I decided to try to write in a similar vein. Now, Tommy and I do already tend to write rather ambiguously about our subject matter so it wouldn't be much of a stretch except for the fact that I usually don't write about personal things like love, lust and so forth.

After an initial burst of creativity I backed off and finished reading a book that I had and then was drawn back to what I had started. What followed was a process of me writing and revising as I recognized the lines that I didn't like or felt as if they didn't fit. After about forty-five minutes of this I was done and I posted the results on my Facebook account. After doing so though I realized that I wasn't finished after all and ended up editing it all over again and adding two final lines. As much as I like this now I know that when Tommy sinks his brain into it there will be change and perhaps it will be drastic. He has a tendency to see through my hyperbole and draw out the core ideas and help sharpen them. That's if he feels this is something that will fit with the band. So that's the plan at least. You tell me if it's any good.

           The Call

Bring me up the right way
Teach me about what is wrong
Straining for a little glimpse
These battle hymns are just a song

Build me up then let me down
My conflicting emotions rage inside
Set my heart on fire with a look
Tell me rules in which we have to abide

I still need you in my life
You help keep my feet on the path
The friction's burning up my mind
How long until I feel the crash

That smile has filled my dreams
My lust for learning still grows
Drawn closer by shared feelings
Kept apart by what we know

I turn to you in best of times
Then away when in distress
Will you give me what I need
Will I earn only nothingness

The left and the right can't agree
What future remains for my humanity
I no longer believe in what they say
The glory boys still preach insanity

Every place I go every face I see
Yearns to draw you closer to me

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Poem For Grandpa

Tall and gaunt Not very vocal
When You Spoke It meant volumes
Solitary in nature Thinking it all out

When you grabbed The children
Rubbed stubble On their faces
Shrieks of joy disguised as terror

I was young I lived to visit
I turned older As did you
Those visits became Far less frequent

She left her body There but not there
Never to return To your home
You gave up Life had no meaning

I never said I love you
It was implied And reciprocated
I never got To say goodbye


Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

If I'm Being Honest

Just something that came out today, first draft as always. Seems to be I'm writing a lot of lyrics lately. Coincidence? I think not.

If it all ended today

If you walked away

What could I say

Place the blame all on you

That wouldn’t be the truth

Everybody has their problems

I’ve got my share

But who really cares

It leads to nowhere

I’m just drifting along

Am I really working it out

Or just writing another song

I can’t say…..if I’m being honest

If I’m being honest…..I can’t say

How can you love me

When I’m not even

The person I want to be

How can I love you

When I’m not even

The person I want to be

Lurching forth blindly

There’s never been a plan

At least none I can understand

My heads full of ideas

But I don’t know how

To make anything of them

I don’t want to never

Bring any of them to light

Have them die by fright

I’m held back by the fear

Of losing what I have

The end result becomes the same

I don’t know what I want anymore

I don’t know what I want anymore

I don’t know what I want anymore

I don’t know how long you’ll wait

I don’t want you to hate me

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

The First New Lyrics of November

I've taken a little time off from the blog but it hasn't been because I lack ideas to write about. Quite the opposite, I have many ideas but not much time to use on them. Also, I've had this feeling, I want to write but when the chance comes I can't bring myself to do it. It's not writers block, more like I allow myself to distract myself and end up running out of time without having accomplished anything. Perhaps that will change with this sudden surge of song lyrics that came pouring out of me last night at work.

I had already clocked out when they broke through and forced themselves onto my consciousness to the point that I couldn't deny them the time. The first came about in a few moments fueled by emotions held barely in check. The second came with an idea for the chorus first then followed by the song. Neither one of them took long (as you can tell) and both are very raw. We'll see what will happen to them in the future, which direction they take. Already I've started writing another song so more than likely parts of them will end up merged together to build one stronger, better song. I hope. That's usually the way it goes.

A Life Like This

The only words I hear you say
Are filled with negativity
The only sounds you make
Express misplaced anger
If that’s all you want to do
Then I’m done with this
I’ve got better things to do
It’s time to walk away
(Was it worth it?)

I don’t want to live
A life like this
I don’t need to live
A life like this

No problem is your problem
No need for made up drama
But there you go again
Making something from nothing
Now I’m sitting here with
My stomach tied in knots
You’re sitting there with
Your high priced excitement
(Was it worth it?)

Where do we go from here
As if there’s someplace to go
My patience it at its end
My head is about to explode
Don’t beat around the bush
Or hint about what you say
I won’t beat around the bush
Let the truth come out
(Is it worth it?)


You Don’t Love Me

Your anger bites sharply
Spit in its venomous zeal
Lashing out at the only one
You know can really feel

Chorus:
You don’t love me
(Do you love me)
You don’t love me
(Do you love me)
You don’t love me
Unless you love me

Will this storm blow over
Like a thousand times before
What does the future hold
I don’t really know anymore

You don’t like me
(Do you like me)
You don’t like me
(Do you like me)
You don’t like me
Unless you like me

If I run away to the hills
Until the wrath and fury are gone
Will you give up the search
Before I finish this song

You don’t know me
(Do you know me)
You don’t know me)
(Do you know me)
You don’t know me
Unless you know me


Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Love, Marriage and Illness

The alarm clock sounded for the second time and instead of hitting the snooze button again he shut it off and struggled to his feet. Squinting his eyes against the light he stumbled to the bathroom and relieved his bladder and following that as he washed his hands he stared at his image in the mirror. For most of his life he had looked younger than he was, even after he started losing his hair. Now though, the events of the recent months had taken their toll on him and his true age was starting to show. He sighed and thought briefly how it is inevitable that everybody gets older before veering sharply away from the direction those thoughts would take him in. Not now, there would be plenty of time during the day for that.

After a small breakfast, which was all he had ever been able to stomach, he washed the dishes and took his shower then dressed and before he knew it the time had come for him to go. He caught a taxi and looked at the all too familiar buildings along the way. The multitude of taxi drivers rarely varied the route so he let his mind drift a bit and very shortly he was there. Slowly he walked up the sidewalk and in the front door and turned left at the first hallway he came across followed by a right turn into another hallway and in a few feet he was there. Room 317. He emitted a heavy sigh and tried to let go of any negative feelings he had. It would do no good to go into the room in that frame of mind.

Forcing a smile on his face he pushed the door open and beheld her, his love. She fastened her gaze upon him, momentarily unsure of who this man was before it all came back to her. He told her how beautiful she was. She said that it was a lie. He told her how much he loved her, how special she was. She denied it all. She was tired of this place, didn't like the doctors and the staff was so rude. He could only tell her to be patient, perhaps soon she could come home. She fixed a fiery gaze at him and asked who he was. Why are you even here? The man weathered her storm of anger, after all, given her condition it was to be understood. Even though it was difficult seeing her this way it had to be incredibly worse to see it from her view.

Her anger dissipated into meandering stories about her life and shortly after that sleep came to her. This was his cue, his time to leave and go out into the world where he could briefly distract himself from the problems of life. He had work to do so that the bills could be paid and food bought. In the evening he would make his way here again to be by her side, silently listening to the same questions and stories all over again, in this building that normally housed people much older than her that was now her home. No, that word isn't correct at all he thought darkly. This is merely her residence, it's not a home at all. A home is a place where love, hope and dreams live. None of that can be found here, this place has no soul and is only where her body resides and occasionally, if he was lucky, he was able to catch frighteningly short glimpses of the woman he had loved his whole life. Most of the time that woman no longer existed, but sometimes, for those few, short moments she came back to him and those moments of clarity are what he now lived for.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Dude, Where Have You Been?

I'm just now starting to get back into the swing of posting on my blog and while I have a plethora of ideas to write about there still is the little matter of finding enough time to write about them. It hasn't been easy for me the last few months but things are starting to look up. Basically what happened is that my wife has been out of work for the past few months due to a Baker's Cyst in her calf. Normally when I would get home from work she and our son would be asleep and that was my time to get on the computer and write. Since she hasn't been working I would come home and most nights she would be on the computer and I'd get up the next day and either her or our son would be on the computer. My online time has been very limited.

At first her problem was mis-diagnosed by a Nurse Practitioner (last time we allow one of them to see either of us) which set her back two weeks from getting real treatment. Once the doctor figured out what was wrong he sent her to a specialist to get an evaluation. The specialist wanted to get an MRI of her knee and to try and aspirate the cyst which didn't work. It seems it wasn't liquidy enough and was instead more like a thick syrup which was unusual as was it's location. Normally these cysts are behind the knee but sometimes push down between the calf muscles and descend. As I said aspirating the cyst did not work so the next step was surgery which was compounded by the MRI showing that there were several small meniscus tears that required an arthroscopy to be done as well as cutting into the back of the calf to remove the cyst.

Fast forward a few weeks and my wife has been going to her physical therapy and has been strengthening her leg. Only now my she is convinced she's feeling the same thing and that her leg is developing another cyst which I pray isn't true. We've been struggling to make it financially and the only thing that has saved us is that we've been getting food and household items from our church and that my mother has been paying for our son Johnny's pre-school tuition combined with my wife's mother sending clothes for her him and helping out in other ways. If it weren't for that help and the overtime that I've been able to get at work I think we would have lost our house by now.

A few weeks back my wife's cousin came for to visit us with her soon to be one year old daughter. Now it has been a bit of a strain on our already delicate situation but we have the space and it's been nice to have them in the house. Plus there was a very good reason for them to visit us for this perhaps indefinite stay but since it's highly personal I won't go into now, Perhaps in a future post about what kind of a man doesn't mind not being around for his only child's birthday, Christmas, etc. At any rate, I was overjoyed to receive a bonus from my employer and with that and some overtime I bought a brand spanking new Dell laptop with which I am posting on this very blog at this very moment. Okay it's also thanks to the WiFi at work (I'm off the clock) but this has made me very happy and I can't wait to really get some writing done once my wife starts working again and I can cut back on the overtime.

I know that as long as we keep plugging away and do what we know is right in our hearts that it will all work out eventually. You just got to persevere and have a little faith.