Life (lyrics, poem/spoken word)

Life - written 2/13/22

 

Dissatisfaction

Enveloping

Worn like a cloak

Comfortably enclosing

Unhappiness rules

The day throughout

Kept in a prison

Of my own making

Decisions years ago

Determined this

No suicidal ideations

Though sometimes

I wish I could

Disappear

Fade

Into the dark recesses

Drifting without hurting

My only desire

Not to feel this way

Not living

Just existing

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

New Poem: the game

This poem came to me today and it took about two minutes to get it down. Then I rearranged a few lines and changed a few words as I typed it up. Simple and sweet. Love it when it comes like this.

the game

fat robin hopping closer
closer
do you not see the fatter cat
perched atop the box
frozen
spying your every move
calculating
estimating
come closer it says
hand on the doorknob
to prevent a slaughter
sudden flash of movement
fat robin lifts to the top of the fence
fatter cat stops and observes
this game will replay
hunter
hunted
observer

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Doing Lines 2

Loneliness always wins out.

Ten thousand years the same as a hundred.

His son bought drugs at school today.

Your feelings were forgotten, they kicked you in the teeth.

I’m too good a friend to chance on romance.

We’re well on our way to the domination of anarchy.

It didn’t seem like Christmas.

Each loves another they can’t decide.

They’re playing out their masochistic tendencies.

The mighty wind howls and the storms will blow.

The prettiest picture I’ve ever seen is the rain in the trees.

Suicide hurts others, not just you, not just me.

One man sits alone while others sit in a group.

One man works two jobs and another cheats on his spouse.

I want your love I want your help. I’m afraid to risk it.

You got what you wanted and left me for another.

I’m all alone in a room full of people.

Sometimes I feel like my heart is broken into pieces.

She showed up with him again.

My blood is spilling on the floor.

He knew he couldn’t change the past.

Never give up, never give in.

I guess I found out the hard way.

I sat down and waited for my ride.

I guess after all it’s just a game.

When the boys leave town the girls run around.

If I told you a secret would you believe it?

She doesn’t want to love me.

I continue to hang around, just in case.

Forget the truths you learned in school. They’re all lies.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Doing Lines 1

I’ve written a lot of stuff over the years. You could call part of it lyrics or poetry or spoken word with some short stories thrown in and a movie script of two for good measure. Some of it was good and some of it not so good. Okay, some of it was utter crap. Since I’ve done nothing with the vast majority of it I decided to draw out a line or two from here and there and put them to good use. This is especially good for the junk that never seemed to work quite the way I wanted it to. At least some good will come of it. If you’re thinking “Didn’t Henry Rollins do something like this once?” my answer is yes. Yes he did. What’s your point? His version was intentionally written to be very brief. My version is taken from larger pieces and I call it Doing Lines. We'll see if this leads anywhere.

My pockets are full of empty promises.

The youth are unfulfilled. Their minds never tested.

He was assuming the form of the dead.

I said hello. She asked me how much money I make.

His father stole his money and changed his phone number to unlisted.

She once threw a knife in my general direction.

His cousin never picked him up. His uncle never answered the phone.

I was divorced. She was married. There was something between us.

She never told me she had a boyfriend.

I was too old for her anyway.

Now I can’t remember her last name.

My Mom re-used the film. Now her picture is gone.

Your rights were violated yet you’re the guilty victim.

Sunken eyes stare at the page.

Hold on, don’t leave me again.

TV and the radio became my best friends when I moved into town.

Criminals walk free in our government.

Why don’t you get drunk and be somebody.

Sitting alone on the couch laughing at private jokes.

Nerds have more fun.

Our youth are under siege by the demon heavy metal.

Just remember, you chose them over us.

You wonder why I think the way I do.

You wonder why I act the way I do.

You got the looks, you got the dough.

I’m spending another Christmas alone.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

New Song By Stationary Nomads - A Mind Is A Terrible Thing

I have a new song uploaded at bandcamp called A Mind Is A Terrible Thing which you can download for free or just stream it. It's a spoken word style vocal delivery and I had the idea for at least the last few years. Aaron had sent me some songs he had already recorded and one night as I listened to them over and over and over I realized that one had the perfect tempo and tone for my idea. I knew I had to bust my butt to come up with the words that would match the music. Thus did "A Mind" move from idea to reality.

If you're wondering how I first thought about this strange subject, well, there used to be a show called In Living Color that ran in the early 90s. It was where Jim Carrey, Jamie Foxx, Damon Wayans and many others became very well known for their comedy. Daman Wayans had a character that would talk gibberish and it always seemed like he was making fun of people who would use big multi-syllabic words (see what I did there?) without actually knowing what they meant or how to properly use them in a ssentence.

I in turn thought it would make an interesting idea for someone to sing gibberish strung together for no good reason. So I did and now you can hear it. Ain't life grand?

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

notmovingpictures Episode 040: The Vox Populi Connection

Episode 40 of notmovingpictures is my rambling tale of how I came to receive a demo tape from a band called Vox Populi that was from Shepherdstown, WV in 1995  and then reconnect with them over twenty years later all thanks to the internet age. It's also the story of that band told in their (or at least one of the members) own words. It just goes to show you it's never too late to find something or do something.



Opening Music: Alloy - Live To See The Day
Closing Music: Vox Populi - Everything

Email: notmovingpictures@gmail.com
Twitter: @notmovingpics
Blog: www.notmovingpictures.blogspot.com

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

First Time In, From A Poetry Workshop

My wife takes classes at Tulsa Community College and one day she brought home a flier for some "I Can't" workshops scheduled for March and April. They cover a variety of subjects such as screen printing, swing dancing and more. The workshops are free to students and the public so I attended the "I Can't Write Poetry" class this past Monday. Even though I already write poetry or spoken word or lyrics or whatever you want to call it I thought I'd give it a go. Maybe I could learn a new way to look at things. The instructor did just that for me. He told us to think of something that had a lot of concrete, sensory details which led to what's written below. I didn't do everything he said but still, it was interesting. Last night I was finally able to type it up and edit it, I must say though I'm sure it will change even more over time. How far in can you get before you know what I'm talking about?


first time in

on the edge
a violent maelstrom
swirling evolving
the one constant is change
i've never been inside
always stayed where it was safe
it surges and roils
bodies spit out
they pick themselves up
then dive back in
the band is blasting
in my face
over my head
off the walls
the energy reaches inside
it seizes my soul
prodding me
pushing me
drop your fears and worthless worries
accept the challenge
sweat pours freely soaking my skin
hesitation kills momentum
a small push from behind
suddenly i'm inside
no longer thinking
just reacting
arms come up
legs kick out
bodies jerk and spin
fists meet faces
knees to bodies
blood spills here and there
nothing intended all accepted
no pattern to the madness
a release of pent up anger
of aggression and stress
finally on the last note
the crowd is spent
nothing left to do
go back and replenish
we stagger arm in arm
laughing at the memory
i've done it
we've done it
the pit is now closed
Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

notmovngpictures Episode 032: Tulsa Punk Rock Flea Market, Henry Rollins, Cometbus And More

Another solo episode is here, this time I'm talking about not wanting to talk about too many negative things on the podcast. Then I move on to the Tulsa Punk Rock Flea Market that was held on March the 1st where I scored some cool items. After that it's about the upcoming Ok, So Story Slam as well as talking up Henry Rollins foray into the podcasting world and zines. I'm completely obsessed with Cometbus and getting into Snakepit and still trying to work on issue 1 of my zine, Exercising Demons. Lastly I touch on the Tulsa SXSW showcase at Hillman's Garage on the 17th. That about does it.

Opening music: Alloy - Live To See The Day
Closing music: Rollins Band - Low Self Opinion

Email: notmovingpictures@gmail.com Twitter: @notmovingpics
Blog: www.notmovingpictures.blogspot.com

Older episodes can also be found @ www.archive.org, just search for notmovingpictures.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Upcoming Stuff I May Go To (Wife And Job Permitting)

Yeah, so here's a list of things I've found out about recently that I'm considering going to so long as my wife gives me the time and I get off of work. If only I didn't have to work and money wasn't a problem. Ah well, you do what you can when you can. In a dream world going to all of these events would me my job but how could you monetize that? Hmmmmm. At least I'll be doing some of the things on this list, the idea is to get off my butt and expose myself (not like that, get your mind out of the gutter) to other people and other ideas thereby creating more opportunities for me to be creative. It's a vicious circle don't ya know?

March 1st - Tulsa Punk Rock Flea Market (definitely going)
March 6th-7th - Salad Days Documentary
March 11th - Ok, So Story Slam (definitely going)
March 17th - Tulsa SXSW Showcase
March 23rd - Single Mothers & Riot Waves
March 28th - Dirty Mugs & Riot Waves
March 29th - Lizard Police & The Riot Waves Holy Mountain in-store (definitely going)
April 1st - Bad Religion & Off!
April 18th - Record Store Day (definitely going to Holy Mountain)
April 19th - The English Beat (definitely going, it's free!)
May 2nd - Free Comic Book Day (definitely going)
May 8th - Rush (Oh I'm getting a ticket as soon as I get the cash)
May 23rd - Zex
May 30th - Tulsa Zine Fest (definitely going)
May 31st - OC45
Every Tuesday - Writers/Spoken Word/Poetry/Rap/Thing (got to find a day to go)

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

notmovingpictures Podcast Episode 031: Ok, So Story Slam And More

February has been a rather good month for me, at least from the perspective of finally getting off of my butt and doing something. I found out about Ok, So Story Slam six days before their next event and decided not only was it something that I wanted to but I was going to do it. The concept is fairly simple, you have five minutes to tell a story from a theme that is given out well in advance. You cannot read it, it has to be done without any assistance. I had a story that fit the Love/Lust theme and I went up and it went over well. Afterwards I was happy because it felt like I was doing something I think I can do well. Not that I'm bragging mind you it's just been a long time coming. I thought my mp3 player didn't record it but it did and I've tagged it on after the episode.

This is a short episode but after talking about telling my story I go into the subject of zines and how I'm planning on doing one, a record store I found called Holy Mountain and some upcoming events in Tulsa like The Tulsa Punk Rock Flea Market and The Tulsa Zine Fest but to hear everything you'll need to listen because I'm far too lazy to type all of it out. I got stuff to do man.

Opening music: Alloy - Live To See The Day

Email: notmovingpictures@gmail.com Twitter: @notmovingpics
Blog: www.notmovingpictures.blogspot.com

Older episodes can also be found @ www.archive.org, just search for notmovingpictures.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

So I Did The OK So Story Slam And...........

Wednesday night I stepped out of my comfort zone and finally took a chance. I found out six days previous of a monthly event here in Tulsa called the OK So Story Slam held at Enso downtown. The idea is that you have five minutes to tell a true story from memory (no reading) on an announced theme. They let you know well in advance what the theme is (next month it's crazy, this month it was love/lust) so that you can prepare, the idea being that you will be surrounded by like minded people who enjoy telling and listening to what the storytellers have to say. Hopefully.

I guess you could say I've been moving in this direction for a long time. Right before I got out of the Army in 1995 I became very interested in spoken word poetry. Regular poetry with it's rules and rhyming schemes was something that never interested me but spoken word was very intriguing. Henry Rollins opened that door for me and I wanted to, no, I felt the need to do it but never could bring myself to take that leap. After all, the idea of standing in front of a room full of strangers and baring your soul can be quite a nerve wracking thought. Several times I had shown my poetry to people and they had liked it but had commented that they felt like it needed to be heard in my voice more than it needed to be read. Still, I did nothing.

For me the line between doing spoken word and telling a story can be very thin indeed. It's all in the same realm though there are differences to be sure. So why did it take me so long to do it? Some of my old confidence problems are at the root of it although having read Steven Pressfield's "The War Of Art" it has also introduced me to the concept of how we create resistance and make it a real viable thing. Not only is there a fear of failure but also one of success. I cannot recommend his books enough and feel like I need to read them again to get a different perspective now that I've actually done something.

The question you may be asking is how did it go? It was frightening and scary and terrifying right up until the time I heard my name announced and then I calmly walked up the stairs, stood in front of the microphone, looked into the crowd and told my story. Every doubt, every fear, every negative reason I ever conjured up against doing something like this disappeared as I told my story. Through the rest of the evening I had several people tell me that they really liked my story and one of the organizers even came to talk to me and tell me how much she liked it especially since it was the first time I'd ever done something like this.

Sure, I've given speeches and I've taught both children and adults before in various settings but this was by far a much more personal experience. This was me standing in front of a room full of strangers sharing a piece of myself. The difficult thing for me though would be going person to person or even table to table and speak with those strangers. I am not a very social person nor am I comfortable in social settings. That night I sat by myself at the back of the room only interacting when somebody else spoke to me first. Perhaps that will change as I do this more. Yes that does mean I will do it again. How could I not after getting such an incredible ego boost? It feels like it's something that I need to do, like it fits me and more of that kind of feeling could only be a good thing.

One last note, I didn't win but that was never my goal. To paraphrase a sports cliche it was about me getting out of the stands and getting into the game. Sure winning would have been nice but it wasn't necessary. The most important thing for me was to just do it and my reward was the reaction I saw and heard during my story and after I finished. It made it all worthwhile and made me happy. Unfortunately while I thought I had recorded it on my portable recorder I must not have hit the button correctly. I would have liked playing it on my podcast. I'll have to record myself telling it again and put it up although I really wish I had audio from that night because it's just not the same. This is all so new to me so maybe next time I'll get it right. Maybe next time.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Thoughts Of Jenny Toomey, Tsunami And My Time In D.C.

Last week during the course of my work I came across a person with the last name of Toomey and immediately I thought of Jenny Toomey. She was the singer of a band called Tsunami (amongst others) and she also co-ran an indie record label in the Washington D.C. area during my time there called Simple Machines. I bought a lot of Tsunami 7" singles in addition to other releases by Simple Machines. Also in the area was a band called Velocity Girl who were friends with Toomey and the rest of Tsunami.

While musing over my time in D.C. and pulling out the aforementioned vinyl I realized that I had been an idiot and wasted a lot of time there. True, I was going through a rather horrid broken marriage and divorce and was (okay am) a creature of habit so it was very difficult for me to break out of my comfort zone once one had been established. For instance, even though I bought their music I never actually got to see Tsunami, Velocity Girl or hell, even Fugazi and D.C. was pretty much their damn town. And when I say got to see I really mean I never made it happen, a failing that has followed me thus far in life.

Let me back it up for a moment. In 1992 while on active duty in the Army I was stationed at Walter Reed Army Medical Center which is located in the far North of Washington D.C. Once there I slowly started to make some feeble attempts to find something different culturally and musically. The greater D.C. area is a great place for that. The first place I gravitated to was the 9:30 Club, a dark, dank hole in the wall club located on 9:30 F Street. I loved it there. The way it looked on the outside was the way I felt on the inside. While I could have gone there (or any other club for that matter) much more often I was able to see many very cool bands like Sugar, Cracker, Jesus Lizard, Rocket From The Crypt and Clutch to name a few.

Once firmly established with a music venue I found myself a record store that was only about two to three miles from post. It was called Vinyl Ink and it was legendary. Unfortunately I was too intimidated by the staff and my own lack of knowledge for indie music so I never tried to really connect with them and be guided to some vital music. Had I done so perhaps life would have been much simpler. Instead I would just go in, leaf through the bins and eventually decide on something to buy which still worked out rather well. Within a few miles from post was everything I thought I needed, a McDonalds, a Chinese restaurant, a Jamaican restaurant (something new for me), my record store and even a movie theater. The only thing I had to travel for was live music.

I had it all or at least I thought I did. Even after I moved off post into the surrounding suburbs in Maryland I still stayed true to my comfort zone only adding a video store and changing to a theater and a McDonalds less than a mile from my apartment. The truth is I missed out on a lot. I could have seen far more bands play in a lot of different places. What’s more I could have gone to the people who ran the indie music labels and at the very least become friendly with them. It’s more than likely they wouldn’t have minded some goofy soldier volunteering and helping them out from time to time. What an education that would have been and it would have come in handy for some things I’m thinking about doing now.

Those days were the baby steps I was taking towards becoming the person I wanted to be but it’s only now that I’m becoming mature and realizing that doing the things I always dreamed about can be accomplished. It’s beginning to look like this will be the year that I finally get out and do some spoken word. I’ve found a place in Tulsa that encourages writers creatively like that as well as another that hosts a monthly Story Slam night. There are a few different kinds of music venues that I just became aware of catering to punk/indie music that I’m going to check out even though I’ll probably be labeled as the creepy old guy but that’s all right. I’ve been called better and I’ve been called worse.

Lastly, I’m finally writing lyrics/spoken word the way I’ve wanted to since I got out of the Army back in 1995. Yeah it’s been that long ago, what can I say, I’m lazy like that. My best friend and his son are going to work with me to put some of my words to music and the goal will then be to record them and get them into the Internet-osphere in some form or another. Presuming I can get that done doing a live show wouldn’t be totally out of the question although it would be rather terrifying. You see, another motivating factor is I want my son to see me doing things, making my dreams come true, so that I can teach him to live a life doing what he dreams of instead of waiting around for something to happen like his old man did. After all, actions speak louder than words and I’ve grown tired of talking about it.

Now it’s time to get out and do it. We'll see what the future holds very soon because it's never too late to learn. It just would have made things a whole lot simpler if it hadn't taken me so long
Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

One Word

NOW!
One word
Spoken in anger
Immersed in frustration
Boiled over to the top
One too many times
None are happy
None in the right frame of mind
None enjoying their day
How does this happen
Necessary or not
Now becomes why
Why did this happen
Where did I fail
Where did we fail
Did we fail
One thing left
Sorrow remains
Lie goes on
Lessons learned or not



Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

notmovingpictures Episode 029: Computer Down, Two Flat Tires And More

Although it's taken me some time to return to podcasting I'm finally back with a new episode of notmovingpictures. This one is me solo recorded right after midnight on New Years Eve/Day. I haven't been podcasting or writing or doing much of anything online because not long after the road trip to Judas Priest my laptop (or rather my lifeline) died on me. Everything is on there as I discuss on this episode. In the meantime I've had the chance to consolidate all of my music in one room for the first time in eight or nine years. Well really it's not just the music, it's a lot of old things as well. Doing so made me realize that I used to have much more and I'm not sure where it all went over these aforementioned years. There is also talk of finding an old friend, having two flat tires (and replacing three in total) as well as my idea for a spoken word project. What will the future hold? You have to listen to find out.

Closing Music: Freedom Club - Haunt You

Email: notmovingpictures@gmail.com Twitter: @notmovingpics
Blog: www.notmovingpictures.blogspot.com

Older episodes can also be found @ www.archive.org, just search for notmovingpictures

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

Some New Words - Land Of Lies

Sitting in church yesterday letting my mind wander (sometimes that's the best I can manage) when what should appear but an idea. That idea once written gives birth to more words than I originally realized were there. Today as I typed the result of my wandering mind and edited it as I went I now have this. Is it pretentious? Boring? Overhyped? Judge for yourself, for me it's just what I wrote and believe. Take it as such.

                                                               Land Of Lies

Surrounded by false prophets
Some well concealed
Others hiding out in the open
They've had years to practice
Daring you to open your eyes and fully acknowledge just what they are
Confident that you won't to the fullest point of arrogance
Even if you do they'll keep enough sycophants under their thrall to continue their lives of excess
They bluster and shriek their idiocy and the masses bleat out their answering call
Mesmerized by the unfounded affirmations of honor and trust
This has become a land of lies
What once was wrong is now right
The land that I, my father and his father served
For those hearing this sitting there shaking their heads in agreement
Giving a "yeah right" vote of confidence to these words
STOP
It's you I'm speaking to
Don't blindly agree because it sounds good or it's the newest trend
Think a little
Use your brain
Make a decision for yourself based on reality not on someone else's idea of correctness
Don't turn me into a false prophet
Don't make me into that which I speak against
Or do I overestimate myself and perhaps you?

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

notmovingpictures Episode 027: Talking About Alloy, Pain Relief And More

Luck was with me Saturday night, I was able to go to Tommy's and hang out for awhile. While we were doing our usual talking I decided to break out the recorder and get another episode on the books. It is always hard for us to get together so when we do I try and record. It doesn't always happen though. This time we talk about Tommy's band Alloy who haven't been shall we say, operational. Well, they've got a show lined up for November 13th at The Shrine. We also talk about a different project merging spoken word and music together for Me, Tommy and his son Chris. As we shift to discussing taking a chance and realizing your dreams, doing it instead of thinking about doing it, we then progress to pain relief. Specifically medical marijuana, CBD oil, Kratom, Kava Kava and more. It's a lengthy talk over a vast array of topics and it's pretty cool, at least from my standpoint.



Opening Music: Alloy - Live To See The Day
Closing Music: Alloy - Silencer (demo)

Email: notmovingpictures@gmail.com Twitter: @notmovingpics
Blog: www.notmovingpictures.blogspot.com

Older episodes can also be found @ www.archive.org, just search for notmovingpictures.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.

What's Going On

I haven't been posting a lot this month but it doesn't mean I haven't been busy. One of my new projects has been converting the cassette tapes I have from when I was a community volunteer at WMUL (Marshall University's radio station) where I did a ska and reggae show called Ska Beat (from 1997-1999) to mp3 format. I only have about twenty or so tapes plus a few from when I filled in at other spots but it is time consuming mainly because I have to listen to them to write down the bands and songs. Once upon a time I kept my playlists but now I have no idea where they are or if indeed I still have them. As far as editing I decided to leave everything in, all of the Public Service Announcements, all of the Marshall stuff and even all of the weather announcements. I loathe editing that kind of stuff and besides, it's a testament of where I was and what I was doing at that moment of my life. The only thing I have been editing is the beginning of the recording, when the tape was turned over (not always timely) and at the end. That's pretty much it. I've decided to upload these file to the Internet Archive instead of putting them up through Podomatic as a podcast. That will start as soon as I write a few paragraphs about the history of the show.

Another new project is also music related but in a much different way. I've talked with Tommy and his son Chris about doing a spoken word/music project with them. There is no name for it as of yet but honestly it was something I thought about doing in the mid-nineties when people like Maggie Estep made it seem possible and Henry Rollins was all over the place doing spoken word. Somehow it never happened for me even as a personal, local thing and I buried it away in the back of my mind piled over by a ton of other ideas that I always wanted to start on. I finally realized that if it's going to happen I have to make it happen and since Chris and Tommy's bands are kind of on hiatus it only makes sense to do something creative together. Writing lyrics has been fun and personally rewarding for me but sometimes in my head I hear things differently than in the regular lyrics format so I want to see where this can go. It's going to be a learning process for me so we'll see how it ends up.

I have been writing but most of it has seemed incomplete or partially written to me so I've been reluctant to put much of it online. If it's a first draft and sure to change that's not a problem to me but I don't even feel that most of the new stuff is at that point yet. I need more hours in the day to work on it. Or to have money so that I don't have to work. Yeah, that'd work. It's not gonna happen but it's a nice pipe dream. Writing words for my new project is a very different process. Instead of presenting ideas in a concise manner now I get to indulge myself and get wordy. Problem is most of the time stuff comes to me I'm nowhere close to paper and pen or a recorder or it's not a situation where I can use any of those things. Case in point, while in the stage of half sleep this morning I had music and words come to me but by the time I was awake enough to try and write them down it was all starting to fade. Then the cat jumped in my lap wanting attention and my cellphone started ringing intermittently so I only got some of it down. Hopefully I can look at it later and have something else present itself.

That's about it, everything I've been working on besides doing things with the family and working a fulltime job. It's a lot but as I said earlier, if I want it to happen then I've got to make it happen. I have to start it because nobody else is gonna knock on my door and say they're there to help me do what I want to do. Resistance will always present itself in many forms to block you. Go read Stephen Pressfield and he'll tell you all about it. As for me, I have to get back to work, in one form or another.

Written and Published by Don Leach. May not be used without permission from the author.